Friday, December 31, 2004
Maybe I didn't treat you quite as good as I should
Maybe I didn't love you quite as often as I could
Little things I should've said and done, I never took the time
You were always on my mind
You were always on my mind
Maybe I didn't hold you all those lonely, lonely times
And I guess I never told you, I'm so happy that you were mine
If I made you feel second best, I'm so sorry, I was blind
You were always on my mind
You were always on my mind
* *
Zhi, you proved me wrong. It all ended off on a very good note.
I'm glad.
nimgnoy let the night fall at 6:04 PM
2004. And what a year it has been.
It's time again to pick up the pieces the year has left behind. Discarding forgettable remnances into the trash, and gently placing good memories and accolades into that 20 year old shelf.
On hindsight, I would say I'm pretty satisfied with what I've made out of 2004. The year is quickly drawing to a close and for once (as with Christmas), I wouldn't be looking back and reminiscing with a heavy heart, or even try to be overly sentimental at all.
For the future is definitely better and brighter as I race the final stretch towards ORD.
I've lead a year that, well, I am relatively proud of, or at least one that is not overly regrettable. (It depend on how you look at it, I would like to think the former.)
And yes, the future's so bright i just gotta wear shades.
* *
And i usually do this in my journal. And now that i have a online one, i might as well do it here.
Things i can look back and said I've done in 2004
- Southeast Asian gala premiere of Mahler's Symphony of a Thousand by SSO
- SSO's silver 25th Anniversary performance
- Verbier Festival Orchestra Europe and Asia Tour at The Esplanade
- Singapore gala premiere of Spiderman (thanks, fa)
- Opening night of Hossan's standup
- Opening night of The Rumours at Jubilee Hall (hani, for you)
- Live recording at Singapore Idol
- Mamma Mia!
- Nike Real Run at Sentosa
- Army Half Marathon
- Singapore Marathon
- The whole Melbourne experience - wombats, penguins, 12 apostles and all
- Oh ya, my first step into a casino - Crown. (thanks jess and bh)
- First step into a adult toy/video/mag shop. Haha. Club X. (thanks bh)
- First R21 film in the cinema (yes, with jun)
- My first NDP at the National Stadium (thanks jun)
- Staked out all 3 weekends for the Singapore Fireworks Fest
- Saw the Fantasia perform the Summertime and I Believe LIVE - American Idol concert
- Paul Winter in concert (bzy, thanks)
- Rock climbed my first wall
- Does Jedi Race count? (eh tang?)
- Cruised down Singapore River on a bumboat, my first.
- Witnessed Junhan's Almost-Commissioning Parade - paraphrase: Was at a cancelled comm parade, first in 30 years?
Happy 2005.
nimgnoy let the night fall at 2:31 PM
Wednesday, December 29, 2004
URGENT
Some friends and I have decided to collect clothes and blankets for the victims of the tsuinamis.
Items we need more urgently are pre-cooked or ready-to-eat meal packs, wheat flour, other staples etc. (can or instant food), which the Sri Lanka High Comm has expressed a pressing need for.
Otherwise, clothes and blankets will do too.
Please contact me if you have stuff to donate. Thanks so much.
Due to the urgent nature of this collection, I will try as far as possible to collect them tomorrow (30th Dec) as the high comm might be closed for the holidays. And obviously, the earlier the aid reaches them, the better.
Thanks again.
* *
Alternatively, YOU can help too. Just spread the news and just drop these items off at the Sri Lanka High Comm.
They are at:
#13- 07/12 Goldhill Plaza, 51 Newton Road, Singapore 308900
Contact them at :
Telephone: (65) 62544595/6/7 Fax: (65) 62507201
nimgnoy let the night fall at 10:37 AM
Tuesday, December 28, 2004
Blame it on my hectic weekend of merry making, I feel almost abashed to admit that I only knew of the catastrophe that struck so near home only on the morning of 27th. Never since the September 11th attacks have I seen the headlines of The Straits Times printed in font so oversized.
"Giant waves kills thousands in Asia", it screamed out.
All I saw then were still photos. I only managed a glimpse of video footages this evening as I was channel surfing between CNA and Channel 5.
"Bodies line beaches and homes are obliterated following strongest earthquake in 40 years", the sub headline reads.
I went through photo after photo of dead bodies piled, shoulder to shoulder; and photos of vehicles slammed into buildings, wrecked houses and all. These images soon registered numbness.
"MORE than 10,000 people are feared dead or missing and millions displaced as the strongest earthquake in the world in 40 years unleased flash floods and giant waves...", the articles reports on.
(As of present, those dead and missing stands at a staggering 38,000.)
(Edited to add: Death toll stands at 55,000 as of morning of 29th dec.
Death toll stands at 68,000 as of afternoon of 29th dec.)
Its true. As my eyes grew accustomed to images of destruction and death, such ubiquity breeds a sense of familiarity, then normality and ultimately, indifference.
Which shocked me of course. I was going through these pictures on CNN.com as if I was eagerly flipping through a photo album handed over to me by a good pal who just came back from vacation at paradise Phuket.
"Paradise resort turns into nightmare island - Tourists scramble to get out of harm's way in popular Phuket", The Straits Times 27th December Pg 6.
Very often we read about such calamity and all remember are statistics, numbers and big words like "apocalyptic", "devastation and destruction" or "morgues overflowing with bodies". All these we read through our minds without really understanding the true meaning written between the lines: that is, lives lost, parents dead, siblings deceased, children persished and a gloomy future ahead for the survived.
"THE SEA IS COMING INLAND!", The Straits Times 27th December Pg 4
And a truce was agreed upon Jarkarta and Aceh rebels to allow military aid into the province. How ridiculous.
I wished we didn't need a disaster like this to remind us that there are bigger things in life than killing each other or going to wars. I wished it was unnecessary to feel the pain of chaos just so we treasure peace.
But that's us humans, we never learn, except the hard way.
"IT WAS a peaceful sunny morning. (But) just as we were rounded up to get back on the boat, the sea vanished. The three guides had never seen this before. But as suddenly as the water had vanished, it came rushing back again..
..I was more afraid than I had ever been."
nimgnoy let the night fall at 8:33 PM
Friday, December 24, 2004
'Twas the night before Christmas', when all through the house,
Not a creature was stirring, not even a mouse;
The stockings were hung by the chimney with care,
In hopes that St. Nicholas soon would be there;
The children were nestled all snug in their beds,
While visions of sugar-plums danced in their heads;
And mamma in her 'kerchief, and I in my cap,
Had just settled down for a long winter's nap.
Not true. The house's quite abuzz now.
I'd rather it be a quiet and cosy Christmas eve though.
Merry Christmas all of you.
nimgnoy let the night fall at 11:28 PM
Christmas time and I normally feel nostalgic about this day. Like how all the hyped up festivities and tinsels and build up to this day, only to mean nothing on boxing day. And on a bigger note, events of the year seem to just roll by in a flash, and happiness or regret surface as i pick up the remnance of what's left behind.
But this year, it's different.
This would probably be the only Christmas that I would gladly let pass and, past. No hard feelings at all. And no gripping this day like a vice. Cos next year will be better year, it has to be. ORDing and entering NUS, what could be better than serving NS.
And so the year has travelled by, and I'm enjoying the ride.
Hop on, you'll too.
* *
Jess, I heard! And yay. Looking forward to Wednesday.
And you know what, the 6 of 7 beer bottles now sit on my shoe shelf, and i everytime i go out of my house, i'll see it. Definitely serves to remind me of that night so happy, so careless.
To you and your loved ones. Merry Christmas y'all.
nimgnoy let the night fall at 1:49 PM
Wednesday, December 22, 2004
I've always pondered on the question of commitment. Commitment in a relationship more specifically.
The perennial contradiction, would be that of the constant yearning for that special someone to share life with, yet running away like a little boy when opportunity comes knocking.
It's something I have not worked out or found a satisfactory reason to.
I am not afraid of commitment. That I am sure of.
Prolly, its failure that i ultimately fear.
Am i not prepared for what i have to give?
Or am i just too comfortable in this shell of friends that I resist change?
Or could it be that my heart has already decided upon someone (subconscious or not), that it rejects all others who try to fill the place it has reserved for that one and only?
Or perhaps the notion of a rosy relationship is only but a hazy dream that is not prepared for reality?
I can always speculate.
But, I could never figure.
- 8th Nov 2004
* *
Reproduced for you, zhi. In the end, feelings are all the same.
nimgnoy let the night fall at 10:19 PM
Today's tuesday? Or wednesday?
The days begin to blur as we head towards the end. And I hardly can or even am bothered to keep track of the passing of each day.
The last chunk of 2004 has amalgamated into one spectacular entity, like a star in the last stages of its life - awaiting a supernova, a magnificent release of nuclear energy within the star's last moments, creating a massive explosion in space.
All lasting less than a second, like that crossover to 2005.
Thus ending one brilliant and arduous tour of duty in space.
As with time belonging to 2004, almost coming done with their business in our lives, yours and mine.
* *
In other irrelevant news, suprnova . org has closed down - for good. Oh well.
nimgnoy let the night fall at 7:09 PM
Monday, December 20, 2004
2004Khristmas went on perfectly. And it's always nice meeting up old friends again, a testament that although time moves on and the outwardly change, some things till remain the same, like friends.
Yifang and I on our taxi ride there. She was such a queen!, having me wait half an hour for her. What to do, im her temporary boyfriend now. Do take care girl, im always here if you should need anything - except sex. Lol. Here's to our decade long friendship.
The proud organisers.
2 years on and 4Khristmas grows from strength to strength. We 4Kians are an amazing bunch of people. Not having met some of you guys for almost a year and we yak like we were just dismissed from class earlier in the day. The picture above was last year's at The Coffee Club Express, and we had a blast. And below, this year's at TCC.
After dinner, it was where I had the bestest of times. A few good friends, and we adjourned to The Coffee Bean and simply, chilled.
Then after, me and my best chums Vic and Shujun got ourselves all tipsy at our favourite haunt, Wala Wala's. Pizza, beer, cocktails, live music, uninhibited yakking. Yes, it's certified, Wala Wala's the best place for a good drink, good music and a good time out.
And to Vic and Mooncake, I love you both. We've been together for 5 years now and everytime we hang out, it's like we never ever want it to end. We never get sick of each other, we never could. And here's raising a glass to us, a great 5 years and (i'm sure) many many better years to come.
And Joe, stuck in camp but we miss you the same.
Oh well, we'll all come together again next Sunday anyway. I'll get the wine. And like always, we're gonna have a good time.
nimgnoy let the night fall at 1:01 AM
Sunday, December 19, 2004
This road or this has taken us
From way to way, turning our feet, our wheels,
From the rush and rumble of the city
Into a haven there under the hanging
Cacophony of commerce - old enclosures
Lovely too late, cosy too long,
Your atmosphere the very air we breathe,
Your time and space the framework of our lives.
We have no choice,
Seeing not one brick upon another will stand
But all will crumble into dust.
How then should we, crouch-craving,
Run our fingers through the soil
Scratching for relics, momentos in rubble?
We have no choice,
But to trick time and cheat change:
Cudgel the mind and twist the mettle,
Hammer out the soul into shape secure within,
Riding upon turbulent airs and seas
Of great reversals,
To the edges of consciousness
As yet untouched by age,
Expanding with the future.
nimgnoy let the night fall at 11:53 AM
Saturday, December 18, 2004
To Failure
You do not come dramatically, with dragons
That rear up with my life between their paws
And dash me butchered down beside the wagons,
The horses panicking; nor as a clause
Clearly set out to warn what can be lost,
What out-of-pocket charges must be borne
Expenses met; nor as a draughty ghost
That's seen, some mornings, running down a lawn.
It is these sunless afternoons, I find
Install you at my elbow like a bore
The chestnut trees are caked with silence. I'm
Aware the days pass quicker than before,
Smell staler too. And once they fall behind
They look like ruin. You have been here some time.
nimgnoy let the night fall at 9:26 PM
Friday, December 17, 2004
For the longest time, I've tried to find the words that would come to represent the most resplendent, served kosher on a platter and ultimately enthralling. Sheer brilliance that would blind the naked eye.
Today, I see myself standing where I started.
Still searching.
Evening, and moistened sidewalks
Glow under the street lamps.
The sun, under his blanket
Of clouds, bids a good night.
All too soon, his eyes shuts
And with it light goes.
Darkness heralds the awakening of night.
nimgnoy let the night fall at 8:07 PM
Thursday, December 16, 2004
Jess, I'm missing you big time already.
Come to singapore when you have the time, will you?
Grab bohan over before he goes back! Then i'll bring both of you out for a nice dinner and dessert. No Greco's here though, I hope NYDC suffices for cakes.
On a very different note, I'm really starting to feel Jamelia's music.
It's like EVERY song on her album gets me bopping on my seat. I wanna get up and daaance.
I'm beginning to like her.
nimgnoy let the night fall at 11:01 PM
The guns are silent now
And the war is done.
Come then our rescuers,
Come with your flags and ribbons -
That pretty play things
Nations give the side that won.
The war is over now.
I should rejoice -
For I am young, was young
Until these years advance
With all their fanfares to the victory,
Forgetting me.
Now i must march again.
Join the new battle
And brave the guns of peace.
Ah soldier,
There is no surrender there.
No hasty truce of hand
To steal that strife.
No stretcher bearers
Gathering our dead hopes.
No prayers to offer for
Our little deaths in life.
The earth is quiet now.
And the sun and sky beckon
Our changing to the sunless.
Must we emerge?
Ay, soldier, ay.
There, at the gate
Stands freedom.
Here stands I.
nimgnoy let the night fall at 7:51 PM
Wednesday, December 15, 2004
To watch someone fall asleep is perhaps a moment most beautiful.
Even more poignant would be the point where one slips from consciousness to unconsciousness. That thin line one crosses nightly to slumberland. Then, the weary earthly body relaxes and surrenders. The lust of the eyes, flesh and of this world ceases to elude. And at that very instant, all cares and worries relinquishes and sets the individual free.
Only innocence remains.
And to sit by and watch, one can only wonder if this could be a mirage or a miracle. And in this miracle (or mirage) lived your dreams. Dreams of better days, days of no more yearning ever again.
The moonlight's occasional print on your cheek, interrupted by shadows of curtains swaying in the wind. Your hair flutters with each breathe he takes. The cool air carresses your cheeks. It is a moment unhurried.
The room now caked with near silence.
The chugging of the air-con overhead.
nimgnoy let the night fall at 11:12 PM
Monday, December 13, 2004
I was thoroughly intrigued and consumed reading the special write up on Generation Why in The Straits Time last saturday. It talks about opting out of the silly rat race we are accustomed to, and simply choosing happiness and passion over a perceived stable career. It was a wonderfully good read.
For the uninitiated, Generation Why is made up of well-educated, highly intelligent amd highly driven people who, at the peak of their careers, begin to question whether making money and enjoying its attendant perks is the be-all and end-all of existence.
These people not willing to be bound by social mores, where materialism finally takes a backseat. It is a shift from "survival" - or economic growth - to "self-expression", or lifestyle values. It is, finally, an embarkation of a quest for meaning in life.
It is true. In a multi-tasking, multi-choice and global world, one goal - success - is not enough to satisfy Man's now very complex needs and desires.
The bottom line? It's all about passion and being true to oneself!
I am more determined than ever now. To follow my passion and never compromise my values and what I truly love for some ticket to the rat race.
Please do read the article i selected below. Be patient and read on and you may find some inspiration like i did. It's really worth the read.
* *
Dec 11, 2004
WEE HONG LING, 36
The Mould breaker
Father's death led to soul searching by geographer who is now making art her life
WAS: A geographer and research fellow of the United States National Aeronautics and Space Administration (Nasa), specialising in satellite imaging and geographic information systems. She became the first Singaporean to study at the International Space University in Stockholm, Sweden.
IS: A self-taught ceramic artist whose works have been exhibited at the nationwide US sculpture show titled Strictly Functional in Lancaster, Pennsylvania, as well as the Singapore Permanent Mission to the United Nations. This month, she has a show at Rebus Works in North Carolina in the US.
HER TIP: 'Ask yourself what is the last thing you want to do before you go to bed and the first thing you want to do when you wake up, and recall the last time you did something which made the hours just pass by.'
A RECOVERING over-achiever is what geographer-turned-ceramic artist Wee Hong Ling calls herself these days.
On the phone with The Straits Times from her walk-up apartment in New York's Chinatown, she recalls: 'I was totally spoiling the market. If others did five things to get an A, I'd do 20 to top them.'
The geography graduate from the National University of Singapore got hooked on analysing satellite imagery in her honours year in 1991, and her professors suggested she study the subject further in the United States.
Ms Wee's then-boyfriend, a Singaporean, was reading for his PhD at Cornell University and she flew there to join him because 'we wanted to be together'.
Everything clicked into place - or so it seemed. She enrolled in Rutgers University, and began specialising in remote sensing and geographic information systems. She was awarded a three-year grant as a research fellow for Nasa. In the summer of 1995, she studied at Sweden's International Space University for 10 weeks, where she mingled with 125 other bright sparks.
After that 'most amazing experience' of her life, she secured her Masters in geography the following year in 1996. Still unsure about what to do with her life, she took 'the path of least resistance' and embarked on a geography doctorate at Rutgers - and, true to form, aimed to finish it in four years, half the time it would take others.
By then, she and her Singaporean boyfriend had parted ways. Her current boyfriend is an American teacher.
Then, in 1997, her world changed when her father died of liver cancer.
'It was the pivotal point in my life. It made me question the things I was madly pursuing. How important is a PhD degree? How important is making $100,000 a year after you've lost one of the most important people in your life?
'I started asking myself questions like, 'Are these things really important to me because they're important to me? Or are they important because everyone else around me says so?' she remembers.
Amid the soul searching, life had to go on, so she hit the books and pushed herself so hard that a concerned friend introduced her to a beginner's pottery class to help her chill out. She fell in love immediately with clay.
'My parents were so clean and meticulous, you could eat off the floor in our house. So it was very liberating to be splashing clay and water all over the place. It felt like something I was not supposed to do,' she says, laughing.
The over-achiever in her was so bent on mastering the basics that she persuaded the teacher to give her the key to the studio. There, she spent four hours or more a day sweeping, loading and unloading the studio kiln and learning the essence of the craft.
To date, she has clinched six scholarships - worth about US$2,500 ($4,100) each - to do two-week pottery courses in various art colleges around the US, including the Haystack Mountain School in Maine.
In February 2001, she also studied under the famous American potter Jack Troy, who is a professor at Juniata College in Pennsylvania. At the end of the course, she told him: 'This is something I definitely want to do with my life, but I promise to finish my PhD first.'
She says Mr Troy heaved a huge sigh and told her: 'You don't know how relieved I am that you've said that. No one wants to be the person responsible for your quitting just because you've found a different passion.'
In 1999, she took - and passed - her PhD qualifying examinations, and is on course to complete her dissertation next March. But ultimately, she plans to walk the potter's path. Today, she spends about 60 hours a week on pottery and about 30 hours on her dissertation.
Her sleek, sensuous yet whimsical style is her way of depicting what is most amusing in life to her - in clay. In her well-loved Polar Bear series, there is a 10cm-high sculpture of five polar bears arguing over a tiny fish. The title? Board Room Meeting.
To date, she has fashioned 1,000 pieces and sold about 100 at about US$400 each. She has also happily given away many because 'I keep them only long enough to learn from them'.
In April this year, her work was chosen out of 1,500 entries to be displayed at America's nationwide Strictly Functional ceramic art show. Walking into the exhibition hall, the first piece she saw was a huge vase by Mr Troy.
'Me, being exhibited next to Jack Troy? I could have died and gone to heaven,' she recalls.
She muses: 'If you asked me 12 1/2 years ago how I'd see myself in 2004, I would never have said 'as an artist' because it's so great a departure.
'Very often, my friends ask me, 'With all that education, why are you choosing to be an artist?' My question to them then is: 'Do you expect artists to be uneducated?'
Still, she stresses that she is only able to do what she does because her two older brothers - a human resources manager and the owner of a pest control company respectively - are taking care of her mother and egg her on all the way to 'do what I love'.
She stresses: 'I don't want to give people the idea that they should live freely and do whatever they want. Whatever you decide on, please be responsible to yourself, your family and your community and don't do anything which is harmful to others.'
nimgnoy let the night fall at 10:59 PM
Sunday, December 12, 2004
We are a psychic process which we do not control, or only partly direct. Consequently, we cannot have any final judgement about ourselves or our lives. At bottom we never know how it has all come about.
The story of a life begins somewhere, at some particular point we happen to remember; and even then it was already highly complex. We do not know how life is going to turn out. Therefore the story has no beginning, and the end can only be vaguely hinted at.
18th October 2004
The end can only be vaguely hinted at. To me, the single most fearful phase of life would be that of old age. The eventuality of life holds nothing more certain than the coming of the gray-haired age. Not to disregard the notion of ageing gracefully, but life has to break down at a certain point. Only then can life give way to death, and only then a resolution of life can be attained.
The inevitability of such a coming scares me, chiefly because one stays completely helpless in its wrath. The best doctors and medicine can only do so much, and there's only this far that science can go.
Its like being stranded in a vast and fast flowing river headed to a mighty and deadly waterfall. We see where the river gives way, but who's to say what will happen after we take the fall; that plunge into where the waterfall leads? We drift along and surrender ourselves to the currents that sweep us towards the fall. One can only look up into the boundless skies and pray for the best as we dauntlessly, or sometimes apprehensively embrace the end.
I write this in light of events that has transcended recently. I see my loved ones succumb in their conveyance into this dreary phase of life. And I stand by their sides powerless, wishing somehow I had a life bouy that I may throw out to them.
I see them fade into the sunset and this is my only consolation:
DEATH be not proud, though some have called thee
Mighty and dreadfull, for, thou art not so,
For, those, whom thou think'st, thou dost overthrow,
Die not, poore death, nor yet canst thou kill me.
From rest and sleepe, which but thy pictures bee,
Much pleasure, then from thee, much more must flow,
And soonest our best men with thee doe goe,
Rest of their bones, and soules deliverie.
Thou art slave to Fate, Chance, kings, and desperate men,
And dost with poyson, warre, and sicknesse dwell,
And poppie, or charmes can make us sleepe as well,
And better then thy stroake; why swell'st thou then;
One short sleepe past, wee wake eternally,
And death shall be no more; death, thou shalt die.
-John Donne
And yes, death shall be no more, for only the legacy remains.
nimgnoy let the night fall at 11:15 PM
Saturday, December 11, 2004
Whatever you do, don't play it safe.
Don't do things the way they've always been done.
Don't try to fit the system.
If you do what's expected of you, you'll never accomplish more than others expect.
Me and Mrs.Jones
We got a thing goin' on
We both know that it's wrong
But it's much too strong
To let it go now
We meet every day at the same cafe
Six-thirty and no one knows she'll be there
Holding hands, making all kinds of plans
While the juke box plays our favourite songs
We gotta be extra careful
That do we don't build our hopes up too high
Because she's got her own obligations
And so, and so, do I
Well, it's time for us to be leaving
It hurts so much, it hurts so much inside
Now she'll go her way and I'll go mine
Tomorrow we'll meet
The same place, the same time
Me and Mrs.Jones
We got a thing goin' on
We both know that it's wrong
But it's much too strong
To let it go now
nimgnoy let the night fall at 10:49 PM
Arrogance and stupidity
The most characteristic feature of stupidity is not the inability to think or the lack of knowledge, but the certainty with which ideas are held. This certainty which easily reaches the level of arrogance, and it irks me when people are like that.
The sheer absense of alternative points of view makes the only point of view seem absolutely right. When this unique point of view happens to have emotional rightness as well then it is held with even more certainty.
I would go as far as to suggest that a person who is incapable of arrogance would be incapable of stupidity.
nimgnoy let the night fall at 11:22 AM
Wednesday, December 08, 2004
How is it that in a fight both sides are always right?
How is it that no one ever makes a mistakes on purpose but mistakes get made all the time?
It could probably mean that people do not think that much, does it? Seems that rationality has gone for a vacation, a very long vacation that is. I have always wondered the point where a brain becomes a mind. What I'm sure about is the fact that thinking is not a gift but very much a skill.
Thinking about thinking aint simple. It is very easy to get lost in word dances with ideas chasing ideas in a confused whirl, as i am right now.
I really do believe that the most optimistic thing about the human race is it's relative stupidity. Seriously, there would be little hope if the human race was as bright as it thinks it is and still got itself into so much trouble.
* *
Edited to add @ 1857h Dec 10th : I aint angry at anyone dudes. So pls halt all the are-you-okay msges! I was contemplating of the messed up state of the world in general.
nimgnoy let the night fall at 9:42 PM
4kians:
2004Khristmas
happens
19th December
at
Holland Village
from
4.30pm till late
* *
I'll sms you guys again to confirm the details.
nimgnoy let the night fall at 8:08 PM
Tuesday, December 07, 2004
Is love ephemeral?
Fugacious as the autumn leaves?
I am never fond of pondering questions on love. It's too vague yet big a concept, too many facets to consider.
Perhaps, love is not the most important thing I should be thinking of right now. Love is probably not on the menu as yet.
A subject as love is so ethereal yet childish to mull over.
What I am more interested in, is the whole big question on life. The perennial question of the purpose of our existence. I realized that to cogitate about life and our attitude towards it holds the key to the aforementioned questions.
Which led me to think on my solitary bus ride home, that life is essentially all encompassing. And that love is but a subset of life. It's is a natural component that constitutes our actuality.
Embrace life, and love will deal with itself.
True love will only hold significance to those who celebrate life.
And so, contrary to the cynical belief that love gives meaning to life, it is in fact life that gives meaning to love.
So is love ephemeral? It all depends on our attitude towards life, isn't it?
Only then can love be amaranthine.
Forget about the fugacious autumn leaves.
It's an amaranth, a beautiful flower that never dies.
An idealist speaking his mind.
* *
Gosh this entry was written 5 months back in my journal. On hindsight, it now seems too utopian and even nightmarish.
nimgnoy let the night fall at 3:22 PM
Day 4. It's weird how little we travelled this day, yet it remains as one of the best days I experienced in Melbourne.
This day we explore Acland Street, and it's like one long Holland Village, its ambience multiplied by ten.
We woke up fashionably late at 1pm, and headed out for brunch.
Too many photos for this day so i shall blabber less - enjoy the sights.
The picture on the above left would be what we see stepping out of Jess' place. That colourful entrance you see would be Luna Park, an amusement park like those you would find at Blackpool England. Classic roller coaster rides made out of a wooden structure, its an authentic amusement park for the young and old. Imagine living a 3 min walk away from somewhere like this!
A short walk away would bring us to Acland Street, as seen in the pic on the top right. It's a lazy chill out zone that is never lacking in energy.
Now check this out, Aussie do know how to slack. Breakfast from 6am til 4pm! That's life I tell you. It's so gratifying to know that breakfast is still served for you even if you wake up at the earthly hour of 1pm. So we settled for some pies and gosh just look at that Mocha! Couldn't bear drinking something like that.
Acland Street sells almost everything and has lots of amenities to offer. We saw a seafood stall which sells exotic and seasonal fishes I've not seen before (below left) and they do dress up their shop well.
Above, sights along Acland Street. People just sprawl and relax, how often do you get that back in Singapore except for the ah peks down at the coffeeshops?
That's a hair salon (above left) and a florist (above right).
Acland Street is also famed for its cake shops that are a must to try or at least see. Cakes and tarts and desserts all decked out in their very own showcase that extends from ceiling to floor.
Below : Nice graffiti aint it? And Alf at the corner whom I also forgot from my childhood days.
This is the entrance to Luna Park, it was closed for a private function that day. Oh well, we thought we take a lame shot there.
At about 3pm, we followed Jess to the school she was teaching at. And along the way, i spotted some lovely flowers in full bloom at a bowling club and caught it on cam.
The Australian concept of school is very much different from ours. It's less academic, more focus on play. We managed to talk to one of the teachers there, and we gathered that play, experimentation and self-learning are some of the major thrusts there. Freedom is awarded at a very young age, which i feel can be a boon and bane. A double edged sword one needs to skillfully master.
Then we were off to Acland Street again to pick up some groceries for dinner. We were cooking dinner ourselves tonight and thanks to my sis, we all had a pretty sumptuous fill.
Night, at about 10ish, Bohan drove us down to Crown Entertainment Complex. The place's huge and all exaggerated. We went to Cafe Greco for dinner. Cakes there are extra large in size and simply opulent. We hung around till about 1am.
And there, the famous fire spewing towers at Crown. It's true, an ice cream would melt if you stood below the towers.
This day's so memorable cos I was able to see the normal stuff around, things that aren't too tourist-sy (less Crown Casino). The visit to the school was an eye opener. We would visit the school again in 2 days' time cos they would be having a fund raiser of sorts. Stay tuned for that!
Day 5 would see us travelling to Mornington Peninsula, visiting vineyards, strawberry and lavender farms as well.
Till then.
nimgnoy let the night fall at 1:36 PM
Monday, December 06, 2004
Sitting down and thinking about substantiality, I realised that life's all about seeking a sort of balance.
It's an invariable subconscious reaching out for a normality we often take for granted.
Everything's striving to be just, regular.
A wound, self-healing, to resume its natural unspoilt state.
A weary body resting, to innervate and invigorate.
A debtor trying to breakeven.
It's what is meant and supposed to be, to actualize an innate and inherent circumstance.
nimgnoy let the night fall at 10:29 PM
And with 42.195km behind my back, I finally completed the running grand slam i set out to accomplish this year.
The 10km Nike Real Run, the 21km Army Half-Marathon and now this, the 42km Singapore Marathon, a fitting finale to seal what started off as a distant and almost unattainable dream.
But I did it, and did it all within half a year. And even got a nice tan (that i hope stays and not peel) which was long overdue.
nimgnoy let the night fall at 2:55 PM
Day 3 was a revisitation of geography, but we started off the day travelling to a small-time wildlife zoo. Small enclosures of animals, nothing much to see. But what was nice there was the field of free roaming kangaroos.
All of the kangaroos were lying down by their sides, seriously, none of them were up jumping about like those we see on tv. All lethargic kangas. Too used to captivity i reckon. Free roaming kangaroos in captivity, now thats an oxymoron.
Guess the kangeroos have taken on the Aussie slacker attitude! Bubz's gonna kill me again.
Just a road sign, well i thought names like Pleasant St only appeared in Hollywood shows. Pleasantville? Stars Hollow? Get the drift?
And this, remember the last post where i showed you fields and fields of nothingness? This is fields and fields version 2.0, dotted with sheeps. Such a pastoral sight.
Not long after, we arrived at Grampians National Park and stopped by Halls Gap for lunch.
Halls Gap's a small town like many other Aussie towns we've visited. Across the road from the town would be the majestic mountains that make up the Grampians. Imagining dining out in the field, looking at the mountains! I had a huge beef burger with lots of chips.
Up the winding mountain tracks, we arrived at Reid's Lookout point, overlooking the valleys and Halls Gap below. The main geographical highlight of that area would be their rock formations that has came to be after the million of years of weathering.
Above left, that rock formation sure looks familiar, keeps appearing in the geography notes, but i forgot what its called already. And the picture on the right, locals call it the Jaws of Death, doesn't take much to understand why.
In the late afternoon, we visited MacKenzie's Falls where we had to traverse steep steps to get to the bottom of the falls. The picture on the above right shows the view from the top of the falls, and if you expand the pic, you would see the steps we had to climb down.
But the climb was worth it nonetheless. Try to spot the rainbow at the bottom of the falls in the pic above. It looks faint here but it was very bright and clear there and then.
We departed Grampians National Park at about 4pm, stopped by town Ararat for dinner at around 5ish. We only reached back at St Kilda's at 10pm.
That day alone, we had covered over 600km on the roads.
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Day 4 would see us exploring Acland St, which is a lovely street bustling with cafes and shops. And its just a 5 min walk from Jess place. We would cook our own dinner and spend the night at the renowned Crown Entertainment Complex.
nimgnoy let the night fall at 1:42 PM
Saturday, December 04, 2004
Day 2 of the tour was a tiring one. It was the day we visited the Great Ocean Road, one of the best ocean scenic drives in possibly, the world.
Do feel free to expand the photos, some of them may be quite small.
A picture I took in the city near the place we waited for the bus to arrive. I just thought its nice, nothing significant about it.
We left Melbourne city right about 8am and so, the journey commences.
Afetr 2 hours of travelling, we arrive at the town of Torquay. This place is famed to be the birth place of many surf brands we know today. We visited Bells Beach, where the annual Rip Curl Cup is held every Easter.
And this, is a little something for you guys. We stopped along the road cos our bus driver spotted a koala bear amongst the trees. So there, you tell me where it is. Where's Wally.
Noon, and we pull in at Apollo Bay, a little tourist town where we had lunch. Set amongst rolling hills and the sea just in front of these shops, it was a quaint and relaxing afternoon out.
Then after we went to the Otway Treetop Walk. Towering trees and giant ferns. Well, I wasn't especially excited but it's nature at its overwhelming's best.
A typical sight of our bus journeys i wanted you guys to see. Clear skies, cool air. Fields and fields that stretch into nothingness, sometimes scattered with herds of sheep. That's the outback for you. Its tellytubby land - extended. Certainly a sight we never get to see at home. Something about this expanse entralls me.
As the afternoon wears on, we finally reach the highlight of the tour at around 4pm - The 12 Apostles.
It was a magnificent sight to behold. It seemed that these images only appeared on postcards or glossy photobooks, but now, it's all before me. My mind started ticking and twitching with all thet geog info I studied back in RV and NJ. That was disgusting but I couldn't help it.
And yes, there were only 9 stacks and stumps out there, not 12. I wonder where the other 3 went. I remember the bus driver telling us that this attraction was originally called the Sow and her piglets - or something to that extent. Officials thought it was such a crude name and thought of this one, a more refined name suited to this splendour.
We were lucky that the sun shone so brightly that time, cos it drizzled when we were doing the treetop walk. The sun ray's reflection upon the ocean made the sea sparkle to brightly, it was simply, awe inspiring.
Like all tours, one hour at the 12 apostles is never enough but we had to leave. I must return again, spending more time, absorbing all that nature has to offer. A short 10 minute ride away, we arrived at Loch Ard Gorge.
Another postcard destination. Geography notes coming to life if you want to think of it that way. We were not satisfied admiring the gorge from the top of the cliff so we went down, right to its foot and at the edge of the beach.
Loch Ard Gorge got its name after the ship Loch Ard shipwrecked and all its crew and passengers drowned except for two. A guy and a gal. So titanic, but anyway, the guy helped the gal back to shore and carried her up the cliff to safety.
It was beautiful. Seriously, my words here do not do justice to what I actually saw. Australia's all about its vastness and nature at its unspoilt best (i hope), and this was overpowering. Perhaps the concept of vastness has never been applied in Singapore, so i was quite taken aback.
A 3 hour bus ride later, we arrived back in Melbourne city at 9pm, had dinner with my sister's friend, played daytona at a arcade, bought breakfast for the next day at 7-11's (jess, our froot loops!) and went home.
Day 3 would see us visiting Grampian National Park, yet another natural spectacular.
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Anyway, I hate doing narratives, but its a necessary bore, its a tour after all.
I'll be running my first ever marathon tomorrow. I'm praying i do not die halfway.
Till then, gotta run now.
nimgnoy let the night fall at 1:43 PM
Wednesday, December 01, 2004
So many of you have been asking for pictures. Its daunting having to deal with over 500 pics, but here goes nothing.
Here are the highlights of day 1.
The sunset at St Kilda's Beach, which is just across a street from Jess' place. When we got to Jess' place from the airport, it was already 6pm. Settled down and it was just in time to catch the sunset along the cold cold beach at about half past eight. It was freezing that day, i wondered why. Twas supposed to be summer.
The vastness was overwhelming. Looking at the sea a horizon-wide, one can't help but feel small. It was nature at it's huge expanse, its entirety almost impossible to grasp. We stood there for at least half an hour, taking in the sights and simply enjoying a quiet moment of tranquility. I cant help but think to myself: I'm finally here, just as what jess and I discussed back during jc days. Finally.
And this, is the plam tree-lined street of the esplanade, the esplanade of St Kilda's that is (Remember that street seperating Jess' place from the beach? This is it.).
We hopped on a tram to Lygon Street, Melbourne's own Italy.
Lygon Street is essentially jam-packed with cafes and restaurants, wall to wall, start to end. All serving italian. It has a really rousing and jocund atmosphere. Feels good even walking along the streets. See those lamp-shade thingies that look like UFO ships on poles? Those are heaters and boy they were very much appreciated that night. It was at the most 18 degrees.
We had dinner here. Cafe Notturno. It was the start of the many carbo-brimming meals to come our way.
After dinner we walked furthur down the street and chanced upon this store. The lolly store where I bought Junhan's peppermint nipples and gummy boobs.
Then Bohan whisked us back home. We would have an early morning the next day. It's the Great Ocean Road. The photos came out postcard perfect. Till then, then.
nimgnoy let the night fall at 6:15 PM
