where thoughts materialise.

So we're into the sixth version of my blog after the last version hung around for a year or so.

Now, a bit of info on this image. This photo was taken one lovely spring afternoon, featuring the iconic Old Well from the UNC Chapel Hill campus. I would like to think of this image as a tribute to my time in UNC Chapel Hill, the awesome friends I made and the memories I now hold dear.

A milestone in my life indeed.

I've dropped the tagboard cos its useless and taking eons to load. But thanks to Angela who helped me set it up, I still do like and will miss the pink interface.

So yeah, it's the sixth one you fellas!

Yours.

27 April 2008

you know you miss my older entries

October 2004 November 2004 December 2004 January 2005 February 2005 March 2005 April 2005 May 2005 June 2005 July 2005 August 2005 September 2005 October 2005 November 2005 December 2005 January 2006 February 2006 March 2006 April 2006 May 2006 June 2006 July 2006 August 2006 September 2006 October 2006 November 2006 December 2006 January 2007 February 2007 March 2007 April 2007 May 2007 June 2007 July 2007 August 2007 September 2007 October 2007 November 2007 December 2007 January 2008 February 2008 March 2008 April 2008 May 2008 June 2008 July 2008 August 2008

Friday, February 25, 2005

Change is coming. It is like a storm washing onto shore. I see it on the horizon, imminent, ready to swallow up everything in its path. The anxiety of its approach is nerveracking. "It is the deep breath before the plunge." So much has to happen in the next couple of months. And it culminates with the trip of a lifetime, to a faraway place, where we will live like kings.

Sometimes i need to pinch myself to remind me that what's going on is truth and not simply a dream. It's a funny thing when you break free of routine. It's like awakening from a long slumber. "Without change something sleeps inside of us...the sleeper must awaken." Sometimes I feel like i'm going through life half asleep. And there are these momentary parts where I suddenly awake and am reminded I am alive. Without those moments life is just a long trance. And one which seems to be proceeding along at an accelerating pace. That's what is the most disturbing of all.

I am so overly-nostalgic. I become attached to The Weekend Australia newspapers dated November 27-28 2004 lying on my desk. It is ridiculous. Why can't the past mean less to me? What is this fixation on wanting to keep things static while deep down longing for things to be renewed? Perpetual winter, hybernation. When does the big wake come?

It's the year two thousand and five. I sound like a broken record when I say this, but what the hell happened to 2000 - 2004? Last thing I remember was there was a debate as to which was the start of the new millenium: 2000 or 2001. I sided with the 2001ers. But now it's such a moot point it's an anachronism to even broach the subject. Too little, too late.

I'm supposed to be excited about the future. But what if I can't get excited about the future anymore. The future has some redeeming aspects to it... but I can't convince myself that they're more worthwhile than the past.

Something doesn't feel quite right. It's like a square peg in a round hole, desperately trying to fit in. A correction in time, that's what's required. I'll be 21 soon -- in only 2 short months. That's not right. It feels warped.

I feel like I've grown up more in the past 2 months than in the last 20 years.

nimgnoy let the night fall at 12:42 AM

1 comments

Monday, February 21, 2005

As promised. You guys know who you are.

I do feel that I am in a better position to write again. Better, but it is by no means good.
Just better.

I guess that in times of such adversity, a great deal of rationality is required. And that's where many people lose it, their sanity. And thanks to all of you, I've kept it there.
Life takes on a whole new perspective this way.

Life's all about moving on anyway and I've said this a thousand times before. And following same rift, coping and moving on after a death of someone close would have to be the greatest deed of all.

Acceptance is a thing of the heart, but moving on is the greatest deed of all. Tang, that made a lot of sense.

Sometimes I wonder if moving on is a selfish way to say good bye. And I wish I felt less guilty about it.

But there, I'm back and it is only a sign that I'm coping.
And its is also a tribute to you guys, standing by, telling me that life's more beautiful than my perception of it.

And it is.

nimgnoy let the night fall at 9:28 AM

0 comments