where thoughts materialise.

So we're into the sixth version of my blog after the last version hung around for a year or so.

Now, a bit of info on this image. This photo was taken one lovely spring afternoon, featuring the iconic Old Well from the UNC Chapel Hill campus. I would like to think of this image as a tribute to my time in UNC Chapel Hill, the awesome friends I made and the memories I now hold dear.

A milestone in my life indeed.

I've dropped the tagboard cos its useless and taking eons to load. But thanks to Angela who helped me set it up, I still do like and will miss the pink interface.

So yeah, it's the sixth one you fellas!

Yours.

27 April 2008

you know you miss my older entries

October 2004 November 2004 December 2004 January 2005 February 2005 March 2005 April 2005 May 2005 June 2005 July 2005 August 2005 September 2005 October 2005 November 2005 December 2005 January 2006 February 2006 March 2006 April 2006 May 2006 June 2006 July 2006 August 2006 September 2006 October 2006 November 2006 December 2006 January 2007 February 2007 March 2007 April 2007 May 2007 June 2007 July 2007 August 2007 September 2007 October 2007 November 2007 December 2007 January 2008 February 2008 March 2008 April 2008 May 2008 June 2008 July 2008 August 2008

Monday, May 30, 2005

Though last night's supper didn't quite go as planned, it turned out to be something I would remember for a while.

We were supposed to look for this "scissors" curry rice at Jalan Besar, then adjourning to River Valley for some prata, but we accomplished none. What did happen was, we could not find that curry rice shop despite circling Jalan Besar twice and eventually settled at the Jalan Besar Food Centre.

Then, a simple supper turned into sort of a feast. I guess with great friends come a great amount of food (haha), of which the cost did not take precedence. We tasted one of the surviving old-school wanton noodles, a plate of raw fish ala chinese style, dim sum, chinese rojak, eggs bacon ham and mocha. Which explains why prata at RV was postponed.

Then came the best part of the night.

With the car parked at the Padang, we bought 3 baby tubs of Ben and Jerry's and another baby Haagen Daz. Gingerly, we climbed up the half constructed spectator's stand still being built for NDP.

All around us, it was architecturally astounding. Facing the city skyline of Shenton Way, we were flanked with The Esplanande on our left and the City Hall/Supreme Court on our right. Swissotel Stamford watched over us from behind.

So there we were, right about 30 metres into the air on unstable planks of wood, eating Ben and Jerry's as Victoria Theatre's clock tower showed 45 minutes after 2am. All quiet and still, it seemed like all was ours to savour and enjoy. No people, no rush hour, no traffic, no busy footsteps, nothing. Certainly something I believe few have experienced before.

I couldn't have asked for better.

nimgnoy let the night fall at 11:40 PM

0 comments

Saturday, May 28, 2005

The sun is out at its glorious best today. It's one of those lazy, hot, fan swirling overhead, summery Saturday afternoons. And I like it, clad in my singlet and shorts with a flask of chilled tea to go along, I'm embracing the lovely weather today.

And so I got my job at the esplanade, of which I'm elated of course. It's more than just the 8 bucks per hour. As the Esplanade is slowly putting Singapore on the arts maps, working there would almost be the equivalent of saying that I've worked at the Sydney Opera House or the Royal Albert Hall. Or is it?

But meeting people is the best part of all. And at the cultural epicentre like the Esplanade, the probability of meeting people-I-like-to-meet would I hope, be much higher. Those who appreciate the better things in life, who are not overly obsessed with why sin(A + B) = sinA cosB + cosA sinB or why v = u + at.

In about an hours' time, my whirlwind weekend will begin, and will not end till early Monday morning. Going town, then wedding dinner, then club, then church, the rock climbing, then dinner, then supper - no two events happening more than two hours apart from each other. How did I get into this mess?

And I am not too sure if I'm up for this sort of jammed-packed schedule, I hadn't had enough sleep last night; and the last time I tried, I ended up popping panadols in bed as a consequence. I just hope I have at least 3 hours of sleep tonight.

But then again, I'm young and happy to be caught up in a mess while I can. To be thrown off the comfort zone once in a while, and to do something each day that challenges your guts or simply scares you. And of course, enjoying people and the activities that bind you to them in between.

With that in mind, I better rest now.

nimgnoy let the night fall at 2:13 PM

0 comments

Friday, May 27, 2005

As I sit before my desk in a moment of reflection, which I usually do to keep myself in check and to take in all that has transcended, I am not quite sure if I still do know myself anymore.

My inner struggles have come a long and gruelling journey with me, somehow always wishful that this day might be the day that all of it ceases to be malignant, or believing that the worst is now and things would have to be better.

But they wait, and are always disappointed.

The human mind and heart, made for the best and betterment of humanity, is the exact same hand that brings out the darkest and worst of ourselves. People turn a blind eye to this, it is after all the easiest way to deal with this issue, for morality which is the crux of our being is ironically a glass we know is there but refuse see, and shattered almost effortlessly eventually.

I do not feel down, however. Carrying this stigma has become less of a burden and more a normality. From its very inception, the human race has been condemned to exist within two eternal division, always moving between those two opposing poles.

There is no conclusion for this entry, neither is there a resolution.

nimgnoy let the night fall at 3:35 PM

0 comments

Tuesday, May 24, 2005

My primary source of light now, in this room of solitude, remains to be one emitting from my computer screen.

And in the midst of the quietness, the cascading strings play forth, while my mind recollects all memory of you in little mental drawers I've put together these years, just for you and me.

You've earned a place there, befitting for the great friend you were and still are today.

I open the first drawer to find a single memory of you sitting beside me in tutorials and lectures, sharing scribbled conversations and laughters.

The next one, in Malaysia we had ourselves which kept us happy, and "sometimes late at night" in unison.

I smile to myself, a reaction inseperable with our shared memories, as I eagerly see what drawer three had in store.

Nimbly I pull the next drawer to only see you crying, insecure and disappointed. You were despondant, and I never want you to be in this state again. We were too much for the world, to be let down this way.

A very choppy riverboat was the following drawer, and I quickly close it before I'm thrown off.

And I see countless drawers with your name on it. This trip of nostalgia is taking longer than I expected.

The last drawer, I bent down and pulled it open - empty. This is odd. And as I worked my way back up, empty drawers greeted me each time. Lost memories, could they be. And what seemed like an eternity of nothingness later, I found the point where the retrospection ends and emptiness started.

It was a drawer with me on the phone, on my lone bus journey home, with you on the other end. The date was 24 May, 11pm.

Then it suddenly dawned upon me.
We still had more memories to create, more drawers to fill. To occupy till we're old and wrinkly, with reminiscence of past gaiety and times gone by.

Happy 21st birthday hunny.

nimgnoy let the night fall at 11:35 PM

0 comments

I am not easily excitable. And I attribute this numbness of emotions primarily to much that I've seen and stumbled falls over these years. And before I lose my grasp and turn this entry into one of lamentation, which is absolutely abhor, I will stand back and let the dust settle before moving on.

Things still do excite me though, but they a few and far between. And things that do really excite me now, must be something with an x-factor. The bar has been risen to a level I am afraid many people have come to realize, is pretty hard to keep up with.

And it is probably a mechanism, or a system I've formulated for myself to only want the best things in life, to scoop the creme de la creme. Which cannot be too good a thing is it? I find myself not being able to tolerate things that are barely mediocre, and it seems like I am turning myself into someone I do not want to be.

But at the end of the day, I do sit down by my desk and as the orange sun sets after a weary day, I still love people I love very much. And they were never once the excitables I consider now.

I am once again grounded and though I know my heart and my mind has itself a criteria to qualify an excitable, I can, always, choose not to listen.

Jean Sibelius' Symphony No 6 for orchestra in D minor, Opus 104 - The mastermind behind this post.

nimgnoy let the night fall at 9:30 AM

0 comments

Monday, May 23, 2005

If there's something I wished I was not blessed with, it would have to be the effort I put into things. More concisely, the effort I put into things which can be quite personally biased.

And sometimes I overdo it, which cannot be a good thing at all. And what seems to be the weirdest thing is, the more effort I put into it, the more I am doomed to fail. And this feeling of a hard fall is getting more of a familiarity to me now.

My writing, my music, my relationships, my

See, I can't even write this properly now.

nimgnoy let the night fall at 10:58 PM

0 comments

Sunday, May 22, 2005

The thing I like about my new hairstyle is, I can wake up and not worry about my hair anymore. It's a wake-and-ready-to-go style. No more bad hair days.

You come with tender eyes
My welcome reprieve
My pleasant reprieve
It would be simple
To be seized away
By the heat of your smile
By the words that you say
What to do my love
With the passion you bring
With your sincere emotion
Such a fragile thing
Should I risk what is precious, my friend
For a fleeting indulgence
For a fated end
Skilled in the game of chance
I'm tempted
When you ask me to dance
But the urgency that is now your voice
Leaves me shaken and sober
Leaves me only one choice
On this bitter sweet night
I must tell you goodbye

nimgnoy let the night fall at 10:59 AM

1 comments

Saturday, May 21, 2005

I can still taste a mellow tinge of mint from my toothpaste lingering on the molars at the back of my mouth.
It is a peachy feeling though, sweet yet not overwhlming, a moist dash of freshness. Puts me very much in a good mood - to sleep.

Let's just say that it has been a long time since I heard a good piece of classical music. And please do not get me wrong, I am not a big classical fan. I can't tell my Haydns from my Elgars.

I just love any music that is able to make me feel transported. Escapism if you may say so. Bring my mind along on a ride, to an unknown realm, a new place.

Okay, I think Arsenal or Man U just scored, or nearly did - my block just roared.

Yes, to a new place - that is the power of music. The feelings it evokes displaces all current ones, and we are lifted from toil. A rather materialistic worldview from me.

And back to the point of this entry, I just heard one of the most stirring classical piece last night at the Esplanade. It was the SSO's gala concert and they presented Rachmaninov's Symphony No. 2 in E minor, Op. 27.

The third movement, played in Adagio, simply great. Built around a unspeakably lovely melody, it hovers throughout the whole movement and winds its way through soundscapes of immense beauty.

Beauty in music, I have found, is breathtaking. You can't see it, neither can you touch it, but it finds and knows its way to the crux of our souls, beyond the fabric from which we hide against the world.

And on this note, I pray that life sings out to me, and those I care for, like a exuberantly celebratory pastoral piece of music. I have been living too much on a day-to-day basis this week, which I have learnt is bad - essentially because it makes life so trivial and short-sighted. Every day is about what's up tonight, and every night is about tomorrow's doings. I have let the everyday humdrums lead my life and now I want that music to fill its place.

Despite the anguishes of the previous movements, I want to know that I have at last penned a real masterpiece.

nimgnoy let the night fall at 11:48 PM

0 comments

Well, if you're really bored and have time to kill, you'll read till the end.
I look back at this particular conversation and its just excapsulates all about me and bai, totally. Like how random thoughts merge and how we just have a plain old good time, even on msn.

The night after the Indonesian tremors.

ym . ok back to The OC says:
wat a lovely butterfly
ym . ok back to The OC says:
have u watched miss con
ym . ok back to The OC says:
?

hydevil says:
butterfly?

ym . ok back to The OC says:
ur display pic is a butterfly

hydevil says:
oh i didn't know.
hydevil says:
can we watch another show?

ym . ok back to The OC says:
there's a jap orchestra comin to town in may playing pop songs. i dunno if its gd
ym . ok back to The OC says:
ya can
ym . ok back to The OC says:
wateva u wanna watch lah

hydevil says:
ok .. maybe something like pacifier will be better.
hydevil says:
wats the name?

ym . ok back to The OC says:
u just wanna see the muscles lah

hydevil says:
funny and got muscle
hydevil says:
isnt that 2 in one

ym . ok back to The OC says:
ok lah i dun mind that one
ym . ok back to The OC says:
u watched miss con already?

hydevil says:
half watched...
hydevil says:
i slept the second half

ym . ok back to The OC says:
wat?1 isnt it funny
ym . ok back to The OC says:
ooi fucker. say u wanna watch with me then you watch first.

hydevil says:
i can watch again if u want
hydevil says:
cos i miss the second half
hydevil says:
but i prefer not to haha

ym . ok back to The OC says:
no lah, do u think im so bad as to do that? no. im so gracious. lets watch vin diesel
ym . ok back to The OC says:
when u free.

hydevil says:
next wednesday?
ym . ok back to The OC says:
shld b okay

hydevil says:
u know y?

ym . ok back to The OC says:
dun ask stupid questions. so u wan me to ask why izit.
ym . ok back to The OC says:
ok.
ym . ok back to The OC says:
WHY WHY OH TELL ME WHY

hydevil says:
because the sky is so high
hydevil says:
no lar help u save 2 dollars leh

ym . ok back to The OC says:
and pigs can fly
ym . ok back to The OC says:
mon n tues also save 2 dollars wat

hydevil says:
mon is a blue day tuesday is family day
hydevil says:
so wednesday lor

ym . ok back to The OC says:
bull shit lah.

hydevil says:
bull doesn't shit lah
hydevil says:
bull shit dung

ym . ok back to The OC says:
i jus discovered. Dm Am Em G. sounds damn sad.
ym . ok back to The OC says:
bull shit shit. cow shit dung.
ym . ok back to The OC says:
hence cow dung.

hydevil says:
yeah a bit sad

ym . ok back to The OC says:
here, shit is used as a noun and a verb.

hydevil says:
cow dung dung

ym . ok back to The OC says:
i anyhow permutate one lah, i keep trying to think of a melody last night but i keep getting a very pop-ish tune, so i got disgusted n went to sleep
ym . ok back to The OC says:
now, dung is strictly a noun and cannot be used as a verb.

hydevil says:
cow dung shit bull shit dung

ym . ok back to The OC says:
today i was at nus and i saw flavian, jeffrey and one other cosmic guy there. eating lunch at arts canteen with their cosmic polo tee. so out of this world.

hydevil says:
how come?

ym . ok back to The OC says:
yes u r so clever. cow dung is shit. and bull shit is dung.
ym . ok back to The OC says:
oh ya! found a job?
ym . ok back to The OC says:
i didnt ask them, i jus said hi n left

hydevil says:
no i am jobless
hydevil says:
oic. am i supposed to ask wat u doing in nus?

ym . ok back to The OC says:
no u r not supposed to
ym . ok back to The OC says:
but if you want to know,
ym . ok back to The OC says:
i was meeting up jc frens lah.
ym . ok back to The OC says:
ok end of story

hydevil says:
oic. ok lar near for u. u got ur stb liao?

ym . ok back to The OC says:
my teacher said he will call me
ym . ok back to The OC says:
BUT
ym . ok back to The OC says:
but!

hydevil says:
he didnt

ym . ok back to The OC says:
he hasnt called for a week already. then i paiseh to keep chasing him for it
ym . ok back to The OC says:
u know what i mean
ym . ok back to The OC says:
but if i dun call, he might forget
ym . ok back to The OC says:
its like waiting for ur amp to be repaired

hydevil says:
u r lucky, everyday i see data entry temp everyday (jurong/tuas ayer/ rajah/bikit batok)

ym . ok back to The OC says:
bikit batok ah

hydevil says:
ah ic like that must call to hint hint if not he really forget

ym . ok back to The OC says:
whao i like to go to bikit batok

hydevil says:
fat funger

ym . ok back to The OC says:
last time i swam at bikit batok

hydevil says:
yes bikini buttock
hydevil says:
hmm actally not funny

ym . ok back to The OC says:
hahahahahahahahahahaha u jus made me laugh out at my seat

hydevil says:
wahaha
hydevil says:
so u not looking for temp job outside?

ym . ok back to The OC says:
eh u felt the tremors that night?

hydevil says:
no but u saw the papers the next day?

ym . ok back to The OC says:
im waiting for my teacher. abit bad if i find job then he call me to say i got the job
ym . ok back to The OC says:
so all his fault

hydevil says:
is the earth's fault that's y got remor

ym . ok back to The OC says:
i felt the tremors then i thot i had a headache
ym . ok back to The OC says:
ya i felt the remors
ym . ok back to The OC says:
very bad remors

hydevil says:
can feel meh?
hydevil says:
maybe u stay jurong nearer to outskirt

ym . ok back to The OC says:
ya like on a swaying boat.
ym . ok back to The OC says:
i didnt know singapore wore a skirt
ym . ok back to The OC says:
must be a really big skirt

hydevil says:
not outskirt meh?

ym . ok back to The OC says:
ya lah im outskirt n u r inskirt

nimgnoy let the night fall at 12:15 PM

0 comments

Thursday, May 19, 2005

It was dear Yifang's party at Cocco Latte down at Robertson Quay. Had a uniform theme, but I couldn't find anything kinky enough other than this rugger's attire I had.

So its me and the birthday gal.

Junhan (as a golfer), terence (in his Fish n Co uniform) and lumpy. I told lumpy that his effort was commendable. Totally, like a great sport, cross dressing in CJC uniform!

Ok so thats's us with Terence trying to play the part.

Kinky?? We look good, really.

Not to worry, not a commotion here. That police guy shouldn't scare you for he is one of us! We had people coming in as lawyers, pilots, cheerleaders, doctors, JC students, amongst others.

The strobe lights served through the night.

And we danced,

and danced,

and danced the night away.

And now, I need to sleep.

nimgnoy let the night fall at 2:58 AM

0 comments

Wednesday, May 18, 2005

"Cashier"
she turns around
"I think you're very rude, you were very rude to me just now"
beat
'I.. I..', she was momentarily lost
"You shouldn't have talked to me like that"
'I was trying to explain-'
"No, you don't have to explain anything anymore"
period

And I watched in amazement as Winston led me away from the counter. She had previously been disrespectful to him by attempting to order him around.
I could never have done that.

* *

On another note, Star Wars Episode III is not as exciting as I expected it to be.
And thanks to Winston, I managed to catch the gala premiere well before the bulk of everyone else. Well, to me it aint a big deal - watching a movie ahead of 100 million people (haha, okay kill me), cos everyone's gonna watch it anyway.

Corny is all I can describe of Episode III.
Like how the "dark side" is always spoken in a low coarse and slow manner, like "the daaaark siiiide". And how this scene always takes place somewhere rather, well, dark.
Someone oughta give that deformed old fella with a head too small for his hood some lozenges - and a S-sized cape for that matter.

* *

And a last note, a very happy 25th wedding anniversary to mom and dad.

nimgnoy let the night fall at 3:27 PM

0 comments

Saturday, May 14, 2005

Many fear impermanence, but I cling to it because it is the only thing that will take me away from the here and now. I can never be here, now. I find increasingly it is becoming harder to abide the knots we tie ourselves into. Ironic then, because I used to tie them with such fervent and feverish frequency. The fear of commitment is not the fear of being permanently engaged, but the realisation (the belief?) that no such engagement can exist. The modern commitment phobe is one from whom previous promises have been divested. The sharp edge of impermanence cuts neatly through the threads that threaten.

I guess thats me. Life's just that full of ironies, paradoxes and incredulities.

Ultimately, when I pry myself open, and as hard as I may keep myself in, I might sadly find it ridden with everything I never knew myself to be.
Like promises of forever, faith in true love, peserverance in goodwill - they may have never existed as I would have like them to, but only a self-manisfested reverie.

Truth is, I've been trying so hard to live the way I would like to be, and now, I find that they cease to give me meaning anymore. Something must have taken precedence to displace all that I've known in my life.

See, life is all about living around values we pick up along this meandering journey. And these values are by no means permanent, interchangeable and definitely replaceable. Once we live out of these values, guilt and conscience comes into the picture to set us back on track. It is a long beaten track though, marked by scars from past mistakes and bruises of resistance.

So something must have taken precedence, and life is somehow changing.

Its direction remains yet to be determined.

nimgnoy let the night fall at 11:49 AM

0 comments

Wednesday, May 11, 2005

Another one of those moments where I look back at what I wrote and cannot condone or acquit myself for.
Thank goodness I found myself a way out of this silly love shit.
Too many loves a futile.

* *

Funny how work develops strange instincts in people.
I witnessed today, with my very own eyes, how a lady in office talked to the photocopier.
It's true and as much as I wanted to laugh out from my seat, I controlled, out of respect and courtesy.

Shall we name her Missy Copier? No, too lame, Missy Demented seems more apt.

And so Missy Demented walks up to the photocopier today and started the usuals.
Open, position, close, zap. Paper jam.

"Aiya, xerox, why you do this to me so early in the morning?"
She even has a pet name for it!

Opens tray and does a simple inspection. And like a Mum examining her sick child, she bended over, stooped to the level of the paper tray, and scrutinized her copier with much concentration and adoration unseen towards a piece of machinery.

"Aiyo, those idiots dunno how to take care."
I should presume we wouldn't know how to, considering we do not usually show affection towards inanimate objects.
It's probably a case of maternal instincts gone overboard for Missy Demented. Half-cocked maybe.

Amazing.

nimgnoy let the night fall at 11:41 PM

0 comments

Saturday, May 07, 2005

I turn on accuradio and Laverne Butler croons again.
This time, it's "One for my baby", one of my all time well loved jazz tunes. And one of the few jazz songs that doesn't actually end after 3 minutes and every verse has different lyrics from the others. Which is pretty rare.

It's quarter to three, there's no one in the place
Except you and me
So set 'em up Joe, I got a little story
I think you should know
We're drinking my friend, to the end
Of a brief episode
Make it one for my baby
And one more for the road

Once in a not-so-often while, I leave house past 8:10am and coming to the realization that I've missed my 8:06am 502 Express bus to work, I'll opt for the train.
As I transfer to a bus at Commonwealth station, I would always and never failing stand in front of the mama shop, which is located at the bus stop.
See, nice mama has a little table fan that blow outwards, primarily to keep nice mama cool, but gives half-wet and perspiring me in my long Top Man a good breeze.

I know the routine, put another nickel
In the machine
I feel kind of bad, can't you make the music
Easy and sad
I could tell you a lot, but it's not
In a gentleman's code
Make it one for my baby
And one more for the road

I can't understand the business culture here. And why people, guys, have to wear their stiffly pressed long-sleeved Pierre Cardin to work; when they live in tropical Singapore, which perpetually hovers at 30 degrees?
Starting the work day in office with eau de toilette masking body odour, is not, very nice.

You'd never know it, but buddy I'm a kind of poet
And I've got a lot of things I'd like to say
And if I'm gloomy, please listen to me
Till it's talked away

But I guess that is how you seperate the boys from the men. Men drive to work, and stay well air conditioned all the time.
But the masses? The economy can't be driven without the masses, can it?
So I say, Joe, we either fully air-condition Singapore (it's just a little red dot), or we dictate that all Singaporean citizens PR and expats alike wear Quiksilver singlets, surfshorts and slippers to work! Nice sibilant alliteration there. Domestic growth this year will be a double digit percentage rise.
Trust me. I'm drunk. Again.

Well that's how it goes, and Joe I know your gettin'
Anxious to close
Thanks for the cheer
I hope you didn't mind
My bending your ear

The lights have dimmed on me now. What's love? You ask me. I ask you.
It's stupid. It makes things nonsensical.
I'm just eating sour grapes.
Sour grapes make good wine.
I'm hanging on a thin wire, for nothing. Precariously dangling between folly and the other extreme. And I guess I chose the latter.

But this torch that I found, It's gotta be drowned
Or it's gonna explode
Make it one for my baby
And one more for the road

One for my Baby fades off after 6 minutes 03 seconds. Till then, Miss Butler.

nimgnoy let the night fall at 11:10 AM

0 comments

Monday, May 02, 2005

And so someone walks into my life and messes it up a little. And I, not used to the new arrangement of things, gawks at my helplessness and gets a little perturbed. A little?

Once in a while, we humans, social beings as made to be, get caught up with the idea of idealism. It is a realm not like any we've seen before, a promised land where we see only joy and liberation. And its lure is powerful, how elevated we are lifted from! Away from mundanity, we see only light. Far from desolation, we see only hope.

And it is hope that remains true to our dreams.

It might only be an illusion. And only just an inkling. But we hold on and never want to let go. Cos we've caught a glimpse into the land of plenty, and tasted a slice of borrowed happiness.
We can't turn back now.

And in the core of it all, we may realise that no hope had been borne all along.
What then we clinged upon from the beginning, is but an empty promise.
A farce of life, never to be fulfilled.

nimgnoy let the night fall at 11:10 PM

0 comments

This is a very honest confession, and I have no idea why I am writing this whatsoever. Neither am I sure if this is ingenuously honest, or just a naively candid post of mistaken feelings.

To face it, and really examine within myself, I have only genuinely and rightly ever loved two in my life. My life here refers to a non-kinship one that was established after my formative years, when I do know what love is and understand the entirety of it all.

One of whom I loved, however never mine, now remains a very good friend who I still see often.

The other, who I highly suspect is the cause of this post, is a ending yet to be written. And the scarier truth, that it might never be written at all. A book with blank crisp pages, with a myriad of what-ifs and could-haves swirling in consciousness ever haunting still.

And it is with a heavy heart I'm settling down to write this.

Never would I think I would pen down thoughts of love ever again. And now, I gotta state for the record that being, or falling, in love, may not necessarily be a magical thing as perceived, after all.

And it is so childish, and frivolous, to write about this crazy little thing called love. I can see myself laughing at me. But that's how love is, aint it? Making us feel like a silly child all over again, going to the ends of what we could never achieve alone. And sincerely, I hate to see myself in a situation like this.

I am half, not whole, and in step with none.
Reaching through this world, in need of one.

Line up the firing squad, and just, shoot me.

nimgnoy let the night fall at 12:16 AM

0 comments