where thoughts materialise.

So we're into the sixth version of my blog after the last version hung around for a year or so.

Now, a bit of info on this image. This photo was taken one lovely spring afternoon, featuring the iconic Old Well from the UNC Chapel Hill campus. I would like to think of this image as a tribute to my time in UNC Chapel Hill, the awesome friends I made and the memories I now hold dear.

A milestone in my life indeed.

I've dropped the tagboard cos its useless and taking eons to load. But thanks to Angela who helped me set it up, I still do like and will miss the pink interface.

So yeah, it's the sixth one you fellas!

Yours.

27 April 2008

you know you miss my older entries

October 2004 November 2004 December 2004 January 2005 February 2005 March 2005 April 2005 May 2005 June 2005 July 2005 August 2005 September 2005 October 2005 November 2005 December 2005 January 2006 February 2006 March 2006 April 2006 May 2006 June 2006 July 2006 August 2006 September 2006 October 2006 November 2006 December 2006 January 2007 February 2007 March 2007 April 2007 May 2007 June 2007 July 2007 August 2007 September 2007 October 2007 November 2007 December 2007 January 2008 February 2008 March 2008 April 2008 May 2008 June 2008 July 2008 August 2008

Saturday, July 30, 2005

The world is before us. And within it, the future for us to make.

I remain rather abashed to admit that at the age of twenty-one, feelings of wanting to breakaway still reside in forsaken crevices of my mind, the same feeling one gets when one is perhaps thirteen, on the road to maturity.

Breaking away from the net of security into the world, where we fall and learn, and dreams materialise (or not).

And I do accord some blame to the sheltered shell we live in. The line where we lead our own lives, where we gain personal freedom is blurred so badly, that no one knows where and when to let go.

I am, of course, not advocating the negligence of the family or the abandonment of values like filial piety. However, upon closer examination, there is an absolutely clear difference between being buttoned-up under the guards of an institution as the family and being independant yet still responsible for our parents. There has and will always be an obligation to our families, no two ways about that.

The fundamental difference will lie in the level of dependance of the individual to the family, and the independant decision making ability of the individual.

And the world will remain eternally out of reach if we allow external elements to overwhelm.
Let me fall, and let me learn.
For if I have never been absolved, I have never lived.

nimgnoy let the night fall at 1:13 PM

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Friday, July 29, 2005

Life is, has been, and will always be, one meandering moral struggle.

nimgnoy let the night fall at 12:47 AM

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Monday, July 25, 2005

Summer.
Boy and girls out in the streets. Lemonades for sale.
Cotton tees and thongs. Eau de toilette musked in sweat.

Summer.
The song of birds high on their wings.
Post spring, pre autumn. Silly teenagers making love.

Summer.
And the livin' is easy.

* *

On our last evening at the Sunshine Coast, Vic and I went jogging by the coast. Winter. It seemed crazy but on hindsight, I wouldn't have traded it with anything else. Only at 21 I'd be crazy enough to do something as crazy as that.

We stopped mid point at Shelley's Beach to rest and the timing was perfect. The sun began to set across the horizon. Each cloud was dapped a light magenta.

Vic and I walked up to the edge. The stony edge that extended into the sea. The huge waves rolling then crashing onto the rocky shores.

And ahead of us, the Pacific Ocean.
We began our jog back.

nimgnoy let the night fall at 9:34 PM

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Wednesday, July 20, 2005

So after a few hours on the bus, we have arrived in Sunshine Coast, and the weather is far from sunshiny.

And I'm uninspired to write again. Bye.

nimgnoy let the night fall at 4:57 PM

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Monday, July 18, 2005

Heylo people.

It about 7pm on this cold winter's evenin at the Gold Coast and it has been a helluva trip so far.

And i do not exactly kow what to write cos the meter running at the corner of my screen says I have 1 min 40 sec before my 2aussie bucks run out.

Days are short, it gets dark at bout 5pm so it kinda sucks having nothing much to do after that.

Well, thats bout it though.

I do not have any inspiration to write anyway.

nimgnoy let the night fall at 5:33 PM

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Thursday, July 14, 2005

It's at times like these when I realise that I do love my family a lot.
So it's a warm welcome to the workforce for my sis.

* *

Goodbye for now.
I doubt I'll get an internet connection in Australia but I'll try whenever I can.

Last night the wind blew
and it reminded me
of days young and lost
of words forgotten
of nights never ending
and diluted memories of time

nimgnoy let the night fall at 4:54 PM

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Tuesday, July 12, 2005

So this was how my desk looks like, my home for the last 3 months. Messy but very cosy for me.

Now, the desk is empty and cleared. Only the desktop remains.

The lone phone ringing.

nimgnoy let the night fall at 11:46 PM

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Monday, July 11, 2005

Sitting at my work desk this Monday night, obviously tired from the day's work, busking in the quietness within the office and the still air of zero ventilation (the aircon stopped a while back), it seems surreal that I'd be in Gold Coast this time next week.

Even more surreal would be the fact that my term here in STB would have ended. 3 months of stress, fun, thrills, boredom has finally came to this.

Who else would be sitting in my place then? Will the desk be cluttered with rubbish again?

It's sad that all that I've come to know the last 3 months will cease to exist for me anymore. Like the familiar sound of the printer slogging its way, the way my heart skips when my phone rings, the presence of cubicles all around me, and the people and friends I've come to know.

Connecting back the dots, I would say I have not regretted taking up this job. It has brought me places, it has allowed me to meet people I never thought I'd ever meet and it has brought me a new found friend.

The exposure I could have not asked for more.
I was put in charge of 2 projects which I have undertaken and now almost completed. I was guide to the Chinese Press. I was interviewer of countless students. I was film crew for Beijing TV. I was VIP in Zouk. I had the chance to do what few would have the chance to, and I am thankful for every opportunity that came along my way.

And now it's time to clear this desk before me and to return it in the state I had started off with - nothing. It has come full circle now, it is done.

I'll miss this place for sure.

nimgnoy let the night fall at 8:05 PM

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The roadmaps of our lives begin with the same generic origin, and ends with a certain destination we all share. What happens in between then becomes the tapestry of our lives as we start to connect the dots from the cradle to the grave.

Steve Job's speech at Stanford's Commencement highlighted this, which for me, was one of the most stirring articles I've read in a long time.

Many people frown upon my decision to enrol in the Faculty of Arts and Social Sciences in NUS because they probably think I can only become a teacher. And their frown turns into disapproval when I tell them I have absolutely no idea what I am going to major in.

To me, the arts and humanities are what I love and all I would give my time to. Studying that, there is no clear destination in life marked down for me. What is marked for sure, would be the decision for me to choose the arts, and that is one pit stop in life I am quite certain will not be erased in this roadmap of life.

On hindsight, there were many connecting dots that has led me to this path. I look back and understand why this fervour for what seems to be the bleak arts and where this passion stemmed from. And ultimately forming what I am today.

And now I quote from Steve Job,

Of course it was impossible to connect the dots looking forward..but it was very, very clear looking backwards now.

Again, you can't connect the dots looking forward. You can only connect them looking backwards, so you have to trust that the dots will somehow connect in your future. You have to trust in something - your gut, destiny, life, karma, whatever - because believing that the dots will connect down the road will give you he confidence to follow your heart, even when it leads you off the well-worn path, and that will make all the difference.

Of course, then you'll be taking a chance with time and hoping these dots will connect. What if they never? I guess we have the responsibility to be vigilant in life to make sure the dots will connect one day, however remotely connected they may be.

It's all about following your heart at the end of the day, you only live once and you only get to graduate once (for most of us, that is). So we might as well do what we love, and never regret then on.

Being practical I hear?
I say, passion should never be compromised with practicality. Just think of what would go through your mind at the end of this roadtrip if you had followed the latter - DAMN! I SHOULD'VE...
Snap. The cord of life breaks - too late!

nimgnoy let the night fall at 8:40 AM

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Saturday, July 09, 2005

Jackie's and Yvonne's twenty-firsts, last night at Aloha Loyang.

So here's a good view of my new short hair and my new Dolce&Gabbana specs.
I shan't write too much, the photos speak for themselves.
It was tiring but a blast.

nimgnoy let the night fall at 1:30 PM

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Friday, July 08, 2005

It's 1.36am.

I just completed 3 birthday cards, which took me 2.5 hours. And it has been a long time since I did something creative. I'm getting the hang back at this, and I'm quite proud of my creations.

That aside, I just wanna blabber about my Esplanade training today which was a site tour.
It was totally insightful and eye opening.

Ok, trivia and do-you-knows to sum up all I wanted to say.

1. There are names that Esplanade staff call certain areas, like:
Theatre Street - The long walkway lined with shops along the Esplanade Mall, the Haagen Daaz street. It's a lovely name and I feel it should be made official, just like Main Street in Disneyland. Totally immerses you into the whole theatrics of the building.
Killer Steps - The main stairway in the concourse where there's always some art installation. Don't ask me why.
Lee Kuan Yew Foyer - It's the little foyer space outside of the VIP box in the concert hall. It's called LKY foyer cos the toilet located there was reserved for him and him alone during the Esplanade's opening night.

2. The backstages of both the Theatre and Concert Hall are linked.
The backstage, more commonly known as the back of house, is linked through a restricted zone only staff and artistes can enter. And behind the stage doors, the Esplanade is a labyrinth of intricate stairs and passages. It's almost like another world functioning independantly with their own cafes, dressing rooms, pantry, offices, chill out zones, private rooms and more.

3. The Esplanade has the hugest lift I've ever seen.
The grand piano lift, obvious from its name, can hold one grand piano, or about 30 people. Even cargo lifts I've seen before aren't this big.

4. Both the Theatre and the Concert Hall are built with a "building in a building" concept.
This simply means that the actual theatre or concert hall is a seperate building built within the Esplanande domes. There is a 15mm air gap between the main building and the theatre or concert hall. This is to minimise noise from outside. Cool huh.

5. The stage of the Theatre, which combined, can hold a Concorde.
The stage for the Theatre is so much bigger than what we see, this is to aid scene changes. There is a front stage, middle stage and a side stage. So so big.

* *

Well well, I need some sleep now.
I can't go on like this.
Tried counting sheep, but there's one I always miss.
Everyone says, I'm getting down too low.
Everyone says, I just gotta let it go.
I just gotta let it go.

nimgnoy let the night fall at 1:36 AM

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Thursday, July 07, 2005

Truth to be told, I am getting quite sick of work now. And as much excitement or people I get to meet along the way, it is getting to the point where is enough is enough. And this feeling is coming at a good time though, now that I have less than a week before I leave STB.

I want my mornings to myself again, waking up at 9 or 10, reading my Straits Times over a lazy breakfast.

July 13 will be my last day. There will be things I would miss for sure. Like the convenience of dropping by Vic's cafe for food, the dynamic working environment in STB, all the hype over the many events organised on an international scale and the tonnes of interesting colleagues who are now friends - some more so than others.

Which leaves me almost 24 hours after leaving the job to pack my bags for Brisbane. I love lazy beach holidays, cos there's no planning involved. Just bumming around.

nimgnoy let the night fall at 9:22 AM

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Wednesday, July 06, 2005

I feel better now.
But I aint no gonna write about nature. The weather outside is less than desirable anyway.

I've figured. Feeling better isn't about the situation one finds himself in, or how circumstances seem to be moving in an upward fashion. It's not.
It's all about finding a point in time, irregardless of external happenings, to plant your feet firmly on the ground and proclaiming, "I am going to feel better".
Then, move on in life.

But then again, I am not feeling too rotten. am I? Everyone seems to be clammering to diagnose me these days, I would be pronounced officially sad even if I am not.

* *

Updates.

I have started my Front of House training at the Esplanade 2 days ago, going for another session tonight and tomorrow night. To complete 21 hours of training in total before hopping on board the Esplanade family.

So we were brought round all the restricted corners in the Esplanade, which was very insightful.
Like did you know the foundation of the Esplanade is laid with a thick rubber sheet meshed with wires? That's to cut out vibration caused by traffic and the train.
And did you know that the 2 domes are not of equal size? The theatre's durian is actually the bigger one.

Moving on, I'm bringing Beijing TV crew to Hwa Chong JC to film "A Day in the life of.." this Friday. Which means I have to be in HCJC at 6.50am. I don't even reach NJ that early during college days.

In retrospective, Jess dropped by for a visit. And she gave me this loveliest painting of the place I stayed in Melbourne last year, St Kilda's Beach. I'd certainly frame that up for my new residence in August.

* *

I can't believe Gold Coast is only next week. Surreal.

nimgnoy let the night fall at 4:54 PM

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