Saturday, December 31, 2005
In tradition, looking back at the year that has passed, I- Visited Mount Elizabeth and Gleneagles more times than all my life combined
- Realised that oncology is the study of tumours and not birds
- Realised that chemotheraphy is done via a drip and not via some radioactive gun
- Turned 21 with 10 of my best friends
- ORDed finally
- Became proficient in Hainanese
- Planned a Norway itinerary but ended up in Australia twice (twice the fun)
- Had my own room for the first time in my life
- Sat for my first exam in 2 years
- Started school again
- Attended the gala premiere of Star Wars Ep. 3 with Mr President
- Interned at the Singapore Tourism Board
- Became a staff of the Esplanade and University Cultural Centre
- Entered Coccolatte in a Rugger's outfit, i.e shorts
- Watched Cincinatti Pops live
- Watched Leading Ladies of Broadway live
- Watched Cirque Du Soleil's Quidam as a VIP
- Watched Rent and was disappointed
- Watched The Sound of Music muscial and was bored
- Still cannot believe that Mariah Carey is the biggest comeback of the year
- Fell in love with Shirlyn, well, the UnXpected and, Wala Wala
- Ran my annual Singapore Marathon
- Crossed the causeway via public bus for lunch the 1st time in my life
- Forged friendships that remain to keep me happy till today
- Had the single best week of my life in June
- Learned more about life ever
It still does not feel like the last day of 2005.
* *ThanksgivingThanks to Winston for the iSock for my scatchy iPod. When he first mentioned he got me an iSock, I thought he said eye sock.Thanks to Jon for noticing my torned wallet and getting me a new one. And our matching lanyard. And, for coming all the way down to Mt E. for that added encouragement. Most importantly, your unparalleled friendship.
Thanks to Yingzhen for your card that never fails to arrive at my mailbox each year. And Huiling for asking me out but to no avail, and I do apologise.
Thanks to Michael for that card that kept me happy for days.
Thanks to the old bunch - Vic Mooncake Joe Junposerhan Fa - always there for me.
Thanks to Hani - appreciated in more ways than one.
Thanks to Jessica - for being so pretty.
Thanks to Jackie and Yvonne - for keeping me in mind though you both are continents away.
Thanks to Geraldine, Fengyi and Jiaxin for never keeping me off their radars.Thankful for a 2005 that has taught me so much.
nimgnoy let the night fall at 11:56 AM
Friday, December 30, 2005
I cannot believe that the year is quickly drawing to a close. It just does not feel like it. Almost like this year is not long enough to contain all that has happened, or a tin too small for its contents.I would like to think that this year went well, lots of lessons to learn and lots of experiences to draw from. And some would have a long lasting impact on me, and I do know I will carry with them the scar they left behind. It is paradoxical, that though the events are left behind in time, they never actually leave you, and reside in the mind and is outwardly expressed in how we then react to what is known as our life. That is how the past finds its existence today. Paradoxical, ironical, whatever you may call it, the past never gets left too far behind.And this, is not the continuation of the last entry, fyi. Just me reflecting.The events, or people, that are etched in my mind this year, they will stay. Memories are not perfect, very much so because they are ruled by our emotions. Emotions are, without a doubt, less than perfect - biased and skewed to our liking. Memories, then, are highly selective. I have learnt to love unconditionally, to accept that love is not love until you are prepared to give to the end, and to expect nothing but less than what you give. And I have learnt that happiness cannot be truly justified without its antonym. Lastly, contentment is bliss. And the people in my life this year, they have taught me so.2005 is characterised by ord, oncology, stb, jon, brisbane, nus, pgp, tasmania, love, joy, anguish, tears, jealousy, faith and hope.
nimgnoy let the night fall at 12:31 AM
Monday, December 26, 2005
I am superly tired right now.Funny how time erases and time heals. And how healing here then means the erasure of memory. That is cheating, isn't it? How can you truly say you have healed when all that has happened is simply erasure? Maybe healing can never take place if the memory remains, anchored in to stir the mind.Okay, keep this in mind because, I have this other theory that the only way to forget is to remember, though ironical, is very paradoxical. For now, I have to sleep and I know a rubbishy post would be churned out if I continued writing.But for now, I just wanna say sorry to Joseph for always turning him down for dinners, suppers, hanging out, whatever. I am never free when he is and I am also guilty for not giving him as much time as I would have wanted. So, sorry Joe! I feel really bad.
And while others would not have bothered about me after a few failed attempts, thanks for never giving me up and always askinbg me out still. Haha.But do know that your friendship is cherished. Yeah, you know that already.
nimgnoy let the night fall at 11:20 PM
Friday, December 23, 2005
Back to the Old School
attended by
us.
There is something about the Business Bash that is quite appealing. Perhaps the plosive alliteration that lends the weight of emphasis as lips expul the masculine "B" - plosive, we literary folks call it - from our mouths.
Arts Bash lacks the oomph in its pronunciation, though the words "Arts" and "Bash" are rather synonymous. Science Bash is too much of an oxymoron and Engineering Bash, besides being a mouthful to pronounce, is quite unheard of.
The theme was retro or old school uniforms so Vic and I gamely put on our dearest NJ uniforms, how nostalgic.
The crowd was mediocre, the music, well, had some good tunes in between. So we excused ourselves from the dance floor, almost inundated with people who seem like they were dancing for the first time in their lives and bought ourselves a bottle of Cabernet Sauvignon to celebrate the holiday season.
And a toast, by the four of us, for the four of us, to a great friendship and year that has passed.
Having a little fun there..
And at the end of the day, Vic laid tired on an empty bar top while we wind down for the day.. or rather night. Each of them, Junhan Vic Shujun, with their own special qualities made the night really fun. With so many issues weighing at home, it was a timely break for me. It was never about the lights, the alcohol, the music or the silly dances. It was us. And how the sincerity and love of a great friendship can take flight, anywhere at anytime.
nimgnoy let the night fall at 11:37 AM
Tuesday, December 20, 2005
Hawthorn Villa
Carrick, Tasmania A lovely villa we stayed in at Launceston. Close to nature and great hosts.
Highlander's Restaurant
Sheffield, Tasmania Lunch en route to Launceston. Traditional Scottish restaurant.
3 Windows Cafe
Oatland, TasmaniaI wished I owned a shop like that. Besides being a cafe, this place is also an art gallery and a craft shop. The owner herself blows glass. nimgnoy let the night fall at 9:55 PM
Sunday, December 18, 2005
To all who realised 4Khristmas did not happen this year, my deepest apologies. With Jackie away and me vacationing in Tasmania, we just did not have the time to get one going this year.
But not to fret, with Jackie back from North Carolina soon, I will personally make sure 4Khristmas happens in 2006, and with a big bang.And just some pics to remind us of the good 'ol 4Khristmas of '03 and '04.
nimgnoy let the night fall at 3:11 PM
Summer. Under the clear sky, the streamers move with the wind.A lone farmer repairs his vehicle.
Time stood still under British reign.
Inside looking out. Sheffield and the memories of Tasmania. nimgnoy let the night fall at 2:46 PM
Saturday, December 17, 2005
We scramble for the light. We see it, we feel it, but no matter how hard we try, we can never grasp it. How do you hold light in your hands and know it is there for certain? Can we then never receive light, which we so ever need in times of darkness?It takes too much of me - having to be strong when I am not, having to paint a happy face when I am crying inside. And the nights, they are the worst. Clad in the darkness, you are left with yourself to fend.And there is no one to talk to - not because there aint any, but because I am inconsolable. My friends, they try. With the best intentions, they sms me words of consolation that seriously do not help one bit. I am inconsolable, I have mentioned. Well, to be fair, I am slightly consolable, but only some have that effect on me.I stay out till I am exhausted, only because I do not want to face the sleepless nights, but either way, I have realised, I cannot sleep well at all.I do know I will get over it somehow, but I do not know when, or how.What do you say when this is the last, and without a doubt, the longest goodbye?
nimgnoy let the night fall at 12:09 AM
Tuesday, December 13, 2005
Issues. Issues. They are what gets your life down, are they? Taints your nice white sheet with those irritating prodding at the back of your mind all the time. And they never seem to go away.And it seems, the only way to get rid of issues is time. Issues do not resolve. They leave a bad scar or mark or remnance, whatever you might call it. Let them disintegrate with the winds of change, the sure erasure with time, and if not, death.Issues. They are life's paper weights, some big and some small, but they hold you down the same. Issues. They are probably what I make up myself. All in the mind. Issues are events being overly thought of and scrutinized.Issues. Will there come a time when people cant grapple with issues anymore? Like a cup full, that any more water tips it over and the glass breaks. Hello, asylum. I am not, however, suggesting I am losing my sanity.
nimgnoy let the night fall at 10:12 PM
Change is coming. It is like a storm washing onto shore. I see it on the horizon, imminent, ready to swallow up everything in its path. The anxiety of its approach is nerveracking. It is the deep breath before the plunge. So much has to happen in the next couple of months. Sometimes I need to pinch myself to remind me that what's going on is truth and not simply a dream. Sometimes I feel like I'm going through life half asleep. And there are these momentary parts where I suddenly awake and am reminded I am alive. Without those moments life is just a long trance. And one which seems to be proceeding along at an accelerating pace. That's what is the most disturbing of all.
I am so overly-nostalgic. I become attached to that Crystal Jade Kitchen receipt lying on my desk. It is ridiculous. Why can't the past mean less to me? What is this fixation on wanting to keep things static while deep down longing for things to be renewed? Perpetual winter, hybernation. When does the big wake come?
Too little, too late.
I'm supposed to be excited about the future. But what if I can't get excited about the future anymore. The future has some redeeming aspects to it... but I can't convince myself that they're more worthwhile than the past.
Something doesn't feel quite right.
nimgnoy let the night fall at 9:10 PM
It is all coming back. Like a looming storm. Like dark clouds in a distance.And I, helplessly, look on.I feel quite hopeless. And I do feel quite lost. I feel angry. And I do feel pain.What can you do when death stares right in your face?Nothing.The tears roll uncontrollably
nimgnoy let the night fall at 8:54 PM
Monday, December 05, 2005
Okay, so I'm leaving in a while and my luggage is three quarters packed through. It is quite a rush. But then again as I explained to Jon, give me more time and I'll probably bring my whole wardrobe over to Tasmania, so I rather work in a limited time.I willl blog if I have time, and also if I can find an internet station. I heard two of our cottages have internet access, woah, high tech cottages, what an oxymoron.Meanwhile, I'm bringing my trusty lappy along, to watch The O.C. in the wilderness and to charge my iPod up in the mountains.Those I'll miss, you already know who you are. So take care.
nimgnoy let the night fall at 4:28 PM
When you are happy, the way you were recently, it is like the sky rained down rays of joy, illuminating you, and hence, me.
nimgnoy let the night fall at 12:50 AM
Sunday, December 04, 2005
I am sorry. This will not be an entry on Memory, Place and Time. I am still finding the right time, or rather, the right state of mind to pen that.
My legs hurt but it was not as bad as last year when I did the full 42.125km marathon - I did half this year. I am tired, but of course, I woke up at 4am this morning to make my way down to the Padang. I was wondering if I should bring my camera but Jon reminded me of baggage, after having being called shit and poo the whole time we were out yesterday. I hurled back equivalents back. I am tired so I am writing like that, almost in a semi-drowsy state. Pleasantly surprised though, when I received a good-luck-message from him at 4:40am. And Weifa's one later in the day. Thanks.
But I digress.
ATV Awards. It was star studded of course. Amongst the array of celebrities spotted, nothing thrilled me more than seeing and talking to Denise Keller. She wore a baby blue dress that had a bare back right down to above the butt crack. Talk about sexy. That was probably the most celebrity filled night of my life.
Ubin. It was fun. Sat along with Dennis at the edge of the quarry, the highest point on Ubin, overlooking the pristinely blue lake, and had a good talk. We saw a crocodile taking a leisurely afternoon dip in the lake as well.
I will say my customary good byes tomorrow.
What else.
More photos from Birsbane. Ripped from Joe's laptop.
A super huge surfshop at Pacific Fair.
How could I live without my Mariah? Me at an internet terminal at our Sunshine Coast apartments.
Abruptly woken up by Junhan on our flight back. We were lucky to be placed at the back of a less-than-full capacity flight. I had 3 seats to myself, made a bed out of it and was a very happy man.
That concludes the series for Brissy photos, our ORD celebratory vacation. I have shown you all (that I want you to see).
Back to Jon, I do realise we have more in common than our great friendship. Our wide smile. Here, one to prove it.
nimgnoy let the night fall at 3:22 PM
Thursday, December 01, 2005
So, it is finally the end of my exams.And as I plunge into the holidays, which is going to be yet another hectic run, I look back and define the days of my first semester as a freshie.Monday is characterised by a weird sense of excitement as the new week starts, I know I am supposed to feel otherwise. Monday, my philosophy tutorial, which is what the excitement is all about. Miss Relucio, my tutor, is such a nice person to talk to, it makes tutorial a breeze. Evenings are marked with tution for my cousin (who managed into an EM1 class! considering he is so much a potatoe junkie)Tuesday. My free day. Tuesdays are for doing nothing. On hindsight, I cannot exactly remember what I did on Tuesdays, perhaps slotting friends to hang out with.Wednesday is gloom day because my days start early with Lit tutorial, of which my tutor is from PRC, not trying to be biased but the PRC accent does not go too well with Lit. South Asian and Lit lectures follow and considering that they are major eye openers, I am kept amused till 4pm.Thursdays are happy days. Philo lecture at 8am can't get me down, though there have been a few weeks I woke up at 9ish and realised I missed the lecture of the week. Thursdays are also marked by hanging out with Jon. Having our lessons done by midday, it gives us the great excuse to slack in town. Almost always going to Big O and sapping their wiFi access till we are satisfied. Thursdays are also happy because Shirlyn sings at Wala's. Thursdays start and end with a bang.Fridays are defined by nothing. Okay, only my Bio lecture. Also, very tempting to skip, lesson learnt - never place a single slot of lec/tut on one day.Semester 1 has concluded and I am very satisfied with the months that have gone by. I have gained so much in knowledge and had so much fun with my friends. Bashes, studying sessions, canteen breaks, library essay rushing, Wala's, suppers, lectures that make me feel stupid all contribute to a great semester.* *I do not have time to write on Memory, Time and Place yet. But it is brewing well in my head. Next time.
nimgnoy let the night fall at 1:42 PM
