where thoughts materialise.

So we're into the sixth version of my blog after the last version hung around for a year or so.

Now, a bit of info on this image. This photo was taken one lovely spring afternoon, featuring the iconic Old Well from the UNC Chapel Hill campus. I would like to think of this image as a tribute to my time in UNC Chapel Hill, the awesome friends I made and the memories I now hold dear.

A milestone in my life indeed.

I've dropped the tagboard cos its useless and taking eons to load. But thanks to Angela who helped me set it up, I still do like and will miss the pink interface.

So yeah, it's the sixth one you fellas!

Yours.

27 April 2008

you know you miss my older entries

October 2004 November 2004 December 2004 January 2005 February 2005 March 2005 April 2005 May 2005 June 2005 July 2005 August 2005 September 2005 October 2005 November 2005 December 2005 January 2006 February 2006 March 2006 April 2006 May 2006 June 2006 July 2006 August 2006 September 2006 October 2006 November 2006 December 2006 January 2007 February 2007 March 2007 April 2007 May 2007 June 2007 July 2007 August 2007 September 2007 October 2007 November 2007 December 2007 January 2008 February 2008 March 2008 April 2008 May 2008 June 2008 July 2008 August 2008

Monday, January 30, 2006

Yes. Loud. Live. Unpredictable. This year's Grammys will blow you away.

And if you did not know, Mariah received 8 nods this year.
Record Of The Year: "We Belong Together"
Album Of The Year: "The Emancipation Of Mimi"
Song Of The Year: "We Belong Together"
Best Pop Female Vocal Performance: "It's Like That"
Best Female R&B Vocal Performance: "We Belong Together"
Best Traditional R&B Vocal Performance: "Mine Again"
Best R&B Song: "We Belong Together"
Best Contemporary R&B Album: "The Emancipation Of Mimi"

So I'm really looking forward to the 48th Grammys. I am just trying to figure out if I should even skip my Thursdays EL tutorial at 11am to catch the live telecast.

nimgnoy let the night fall at 10:36 AM

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The day that was Da Nian Chu Yi.
Prelude:

So, this is how I look now, for those whom I had not seen in ages and were still thinking that I am becoming a shabby caveman.

Mommy

Jie Jie

What to say, I love my cousins

That's almost everyone.

Okay the last photo is rather spastic, but I thought it was rather like a photo shoot eh?

I am just grateful for a family so close, and especially a family who loves me beyond what I can ever repay.

nimgnoy let the night fall at 12:07 AM

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Sunday, January 29, 2006

So we've arrived, across the hour, into a new lunar year.

Friday was fun though. As expected with any outing with Jon, who freaked me out with his many renditions of Mariah's Shake It Off. And we made it back to the V Tea Room, after half a year, to savour their good cakes and also to remember the first time we were there back in July. That place has come to represent everything nice and delectable.

Not on the menu, the cake melt is a must try.

And over dinner at Ichiban Boshi, our backpacking trip across Souith East Asia was somewhat sealed. It is going to be very laid back and easy, so I am really looking forward to it.

nimgnoy let the night fall at 12:09 AM

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Wednesday, January 25, 2006

It is silly I know. Silly that the song I heard in your car one sunny afternoon would become the song that would make me think of, and even miss, you, each time it is being played on my iPod or radio. There is clearly no link though, the lyrics itself does not mean anything, the tune rather mediocre, but quite weirdly, the song embodies all I felt at a moment which seemed to be the happiest of my life.

I am crunching on my cereal now and finally trying to blog after a short hiatus. My affair with Mount Elizabeth has ended yesterday, and as events are indicating to me, life is slowy heading in a new direction.

It played. Both on my iPod and radio it played. The song filled my ears as much as it inundated my mind with memories of what seemed to be a happier past. I am not suggesting however that I am not happy now, but doesn't everyone have a little yester-regret or something they had to leave behind in order to move on in time?

The question remains. Are you substitutable?
The answer is becoming quite apparent.

My search for you, your search for me, is a search after something that cannot be found. And only the impossible is worth the effort.

nimgnoy let the night fall at 9:12 AM

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Friday, January 13, 2006

I don't know really, this feeling that has been simmering inside. Last night I dreamt I was in London, today I woke up here. The disappointment cannot be more apparent. But then again, I am too rational to let something as vague as a dream let me down. Perhaps it is not the dream, but the feeling that I am not exactly needed. You know, the feeling that no matter how hard I try, I am probably sidelined anyway.

Ever felt that way? Like how your efforts can never be justified and somehow, you cannot work out why. Such is life. And on one hand, you tell yourself that giving is expecting nothing in return, that no justification is required if it were borned out of a sincere heart. But the other side of you looks around and sees the mud hole you have carved yourself into and begs you to leave.

Silly me. I get too carried away. Of course you would not know what I am talking about.

The sun's up. I am supposed to be glad. But so what? Here I am, a friday devoid of meaning, searching for meaning, and dreaming I was in London last night.

nimgnoy let the night fall at 10:16 AM

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Yes, I do seek happiness, beauty, contentment and all that makes life worthwhile. It is a basic human instinct isn't it? We pursue the simple wants to attain the greater achievements of life. They give me purpose, they give me direction. And every road, a journey towards a perceived utopical end.

But you might frown when I say though I seek happiness, I never want to own it. Seems paradoxical and almost wishy washy. But what seems like an unsure decision is founded within well thought after grounds.

When the ultimate aim is achieved, the road of seeking it effectively ends. That deprives the passion in what I live for, and suffocates the challenge of the pursuit of the unattainable. And I have realised that in fact, happiness comes with the seeking for it and not with the desired outcome. Or perhaps, I am not making sense since its is 3am in the morning.

And so for you, I will always pursue. And I realise that it is exactly that that has kept me happy, and will always be.

nimgnoy let the night fall at 2:25 AM

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Thursday, January 12, 2006

Use me.
For here I am, at your disposal.

Exploit me.
For I never seem to mind.

Manipulate me.
For I cannot tell the difference.

Wield me.
For only then, you bring out the best in me.

nimgnoy let the night fall at 5:00 PM

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Friday, January 06, 2006

1) I walked out of the taxi towards my lift lobby at about 1:30am, after an awesome night at Wala's. (Shirlyn was really on top form) And during that short distance I had to walk, the night promptly impressed me with its sense of calmness and embraced me with a coolness that seemed almost fresh and minty. I could stay out sitting at the void deck the whole night relishing the dark enchantment.

The thing is, I love the night. It allows me to think and reflect, and be at peace with the world. But I hardly can stay awake. My eyes grow heavy and dry and my body is simply begging me to go to bed. Sometimes I wished I had turned nocturnal. Roam the nights, it is quite a novel idea.

2) Vic just scared me by (kindly) informing me that I would have to score at least a B+ for all of my modules from now on, or my CAP would drop. That is quite hard to keep up. Sigh, the perils of doing well for the first semester. Okay, kick me.

3) Jon. This is one guy I cannot thank enough. And it is the little things that affirm our friendship. (Commenting on how skinny I am is sadly, not one of those things. haha.) Thanks for waiting today. I just read your blog too. Your friendship is equally cherished.

4) Welcome home, Jackie and Yvonne! Didn't seem too long when I was chatting with Jackie at the JFK airport before she called me to announce her arrival. I am glad you two came home safely.

Okay, body's begging me to bed.

nimgnoy let the night fall at 11:52 PM

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Wednesday, January 04, 2006

I tried getting through Ben Okri today, In Arcadia, but found the plot too disturbing and typical of modern day cynicism. I am sure, however, that the plot would develop and there would be lessons to learn here and there, but I could not convince myself to overcome the prior gall to read on for the moral behind it all.

Very me. Always languid about things and hardly finding a strong will to persist in what I dislike to do. And I do realise that there would come many things in life that I would less than like, yet having to do it anyway. Life is afterall, never a bed of roses.

But should not life be filled with doing what we like, our passion, our hearts' desires? Shouldn't life be always striving to do what we want to do, never being coerced into the otherwise, the whole notion of justified liberty? What life is it then, if we are made to engage in things not heart willing, and worse still, by force?

I am not too sure now.

Obviously I do know that the range of "things" in contention is too wide. There are certain things that are clearly heart willing that we should do, but I am more concerned with the antithesis, that is the things that we should do but are not heart willing. Therein lies my problem.

Oh well. Perhaps, I am just lazy.

nimgnoy let the night fall at 8:50 PM

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Sunday, January 01, 2006

There has definitely been a change in me and I can feel it, like a malaise conspicuously developing from within. I cannot remember the last time I felt this way, a notable change in how I am reacting to life and its extensions. I no longer feel much for the passing of a year into another. And it would seem like the placement of where I am along the axis of time does not matter anymore.

There used to be nostalgia about the crossing over to a new year. The reflection of the year passed and how a split second at midnight would mean a step into a new era, and perhaps sometimes, the unwillingness to move on into the future. And while the physical do not change, there is an inexplicable effect created at the stroke of midnight that affects the intangible.

But now, no. 2006 is merely an extended 2005 to me. Too many spill-overs I guess, that 2005 does not feel it can end without these spill-overs finding a sense of closure. There is no finality to be drawn at the end of the year, a road that has the end merely physically printed on it but you soon realise the road goes on, and the marked end bears no significance.

So life goes on for me, an uncharted road ahead waiting for a journeys to bud and eventually flourish into a life well lived.

nimgnoy let the night fall at 11:58 PM

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