"..Trick or treat
Smell our feet
Give us something good to eat.."
The children chanted relentlessly. Sounds totally silly if you ask me.
I had a taste of Halloween tonight. Tucked away from the HDBs and heavy main roads, Sunset Way was very much a haven for Halloween kiddos. In a predominantly expat private neighbourhood, I had the pleasure of roaming the streets of Sunset Way with my cousins as they went round looting people's candies.
For one night only, cars had to give way for the kids fooling around on the streets. The residents were really understanding and a good sport.
My aunt then explained to me that it has been a tradition going around Sunset Way for years. Houses that stuck a candy on their mailboxes mean "Welcome in", and houses that don't mean "Do not disturb". Or just a polite way to say "F**k off you irritating kids".
There were at least a couple hundred of kids all dressed up and wandering from house to house. The gals can look really scary. The guys, they just wanna be cool.
I saw a young Australian boy going around as a flasher. What a laugh. Clad in his swimming trunks, he wore a dracular's robe and flashed his way through the estate.
I guess the feeling was totally un-Singapore like. The ang moh families had their doors and gates wide open and offered us pizza and drinks. Cola for the kids, beer for the young adults. And boy did they adorn their house to Halloween perfection. Jack-O'-Lanterns were all around.
By the end of the whole episode, I had in my possession: one Mamee, some sweets, a packet of chewing gums, tonnes of Hershey's kisses (see how good i am at this, selective), a slight headache from the cans of beer, new friends and a good time.
All in all, a fitting finale to an otherwise stinky week.
It's all Saints' day tomorrow.
nimgnoy let the night fall at 10:23 PM
If not for my flu, I would have
been out at the pool
sun tanning.
It's annoying, distressing, disturbing, exasperating, incommodious, inconvenient, irritating, remote, tiresome, troublesome, vexatious.
I love iteration. And the culmulative list for emphasis.
I miss lit.
The Mower
The mower stalled, twice; kneeling, I found
A hedgehog jammed up against the blades,
Killed. It had been in the long grass.
I had seen it before, and even fed it, once.
Now I had mauled its unobtrusive world
Unmendably. Burial was no help:
Next morning I got up and it did not.
The first day after a death, the new absence
Is always the same; we should be careful
Of each other, we should be kind
While there is still time.
Yes, you're smart, Larkin again.
Read this peom, laugh a lil, smile a lil.
But its meaning carries through deeply. Love.
Love.
Love must be sincere. Hate what is evil; cling to what is good. Be devoted to one another in brotherly love. Honour one another above yourselves. Never be lacking in zeal, but keep your spiritual fervor, serving the Lord. Be joyful in hope, patient in affliction, faithful in prayer. Share with God's people who are in need. Practice hospitality.
Bless those who persecute you; bless and do not curse. Rejoice with those who rejoice; mourn with those who mourn. Live in harmony with one another. Do not be proud, but be willing to associate with people of low position.Do not be conceited.
Do not repay anyone evil for evil. Be careful to do what is right in the eyes of everybody. If it is possible, as far as it depends on you, live at peace with everyone. Do not take revenge, my friends, but leave room for God's wrath, for it is written: "It is mine to avenge; I will repay," says the Lord. On the contrary:
"If your enemy is hungry, feed him;
if he is thirsty, give him something to drink.
In doing this, you will heap burning coals on his head."
Do not be overcome by evil, but overcome evil with good.
Romans 12 : 9-21
nimgnoy let the night fall at 2:31 PM
Saturday, October 30, 2004
I really should be resting right now. My flu aint exactly getting better and the glare from the screen tingles the eye.
The School In August
The cloakroom pegs are empty now,
And locked the classroom door,
The hollow desks are lined with dust,
And slow across the floor
A sunbeam creeps between the chairs
Till the sun shines no more.
Who did their hair before this glass?
Who scratched 'Elaine loves Jill'
One drowsy summer sewing-class
With scissors on the sill?
Who practised this piano
Whose notes are now so still?
Ah, notices are taken down,
And scorebooks stowed away,
And seniors grow tomorrow
From the juniors today,
And even swimming groups can fade,
Games mistresses turn grey.
Philip Larkin
* *
I really like this one. Typically Larkin who pinpoints the inescapable truth, that is the irreversible passing of time.
I began trying to put a finger on a time when I started to comprehend the meaning of nostalgia. It was a hazy memory but the only certainty I had was the overpowering and piercing feeling of loss. An expired piece of time left behind, not to be picked up or relived.
Then it dawned upon me that I have never been able to grapple with the concept of nostalgia. Memories still do hold me captive. Behind the smile each recaptured memory evokes, holds a bitter part of me that is disgruntle that time has burgled it forever.
Bittersweet, if i may add.
Perhaps nostalgia is a necessary evil.
To reminiscence is a plain reminder of the meaning of the present. A sense of relativity added in, it is the past teaching one how to live today.
I guess memories are just like the furry winter clothes we keep (well prolly not us in Singapore, but don't spoil the moment please?), worn only to keep us warm in times that are chilly. Then, when spring breezes in, pack these memories up neatly into the cupboard, away from sight till winter ever come again.
For me, I was stupid enough to keep my winter clothes on even in summer.
People say that to be nostalgic is to look back in time when the peak of one's life has been achieved and waned. But i'm sure I am not at that point of my life yet.
Better days are certainly standing in my way.
On a very different note, Happy Halloween y'all.
nimgnoy let the night fall at 9:59 PM
nimgnoy let the night fall at 6:41 PM
A shark who aint as rough and tough as the other boys. A shark who had a soft side. A shark who didn't fit in. A shark who just cant live up to his daddy's expectations. A shark out of the stereotype and norm.
A vegetarian shark.
Why, does this storyline sounds so familiar or what?
A Shark's Tale - the focus of this CGI animation aint exactly on the shark. Which led me to wonder why its called A Shark's Tale in the first place. But i guess the motif of a shark misfit is strong enough to carry it through the whole show.
In its typical wit and spoofs, Dreamworks has opportunely created yet another great show after Shrek.
Go watch it, its a feel-good spirit-lifting show.
* *
It's really beginning to look like Christmas. Ngee Ann City has started work on their traditional 5-storey high christmas tree, and Tang's lights are already on! Tangs look absolutely good this year, very classy and glimmery. Paragon's taking good shape too.
...they know that Santa's on his way,
he's loaded lots of toys and goodies on his sleigh...
* *
Ok back to business.
You know, relationships and cliques are highly facinating and so multi faceted. When you think you have understood it all, a new aspect of this relationship sprouts and you get thrown back a little bit. Just a little, not too much. Or perhaps it has been there all along, undiscovered.
And i've realised that i have and always will be someone from outside looking in. And perhaps it's because i love this friendship so much, that i'll never reach you in the way other people can.
nimgnoy let the night fall at 10:29 AM
It finally friday. And i say it with a great sense of relief and gratification.
No its actually saturday now. But anyway.
Was at Wheelock just now and i am indeed drawn to that place! I went back to the exact same spot Jackie and I were a week ago n started snapping away. The photo above was actually taken up that conical roof and i stitched the same photo together to give the sorta mirror effect. Also tweaked a lil of the colour contrast so the lights look more grabbing.
I like this picture. Seems so dreamy yet there is a certainty that this pic was born out of something real.
I'm just waiting to see how many ways i can interpret that glass roof.
Meanwhile, I need rest.
nimgnoy let the night fall at 2:36 AM
Thursday, October 28, 2004
Since tuesday this week, i've been waking up every morning thinking it's a friday already.
So four pseudo-fridays after, i can finally wake up tomorrow with a surety that i can party the night through without having to wake up at the unearthly hour of 6am the next day. Trust me, the feeling of being beguiled and betrayed by none other than myself is essentially, total shite.
The weekend that never seems to arrive will finally knock on my door soon enough.
This week hasn't exactly been the best.
Immaterial yet bothersome trivialities at work make the day seem like eternity (in such ruthless fashion you can't imagine, i tell you), extending innumerable miles to the road leading to weekend-ville. But i aint gonna focus on that in this entry anyway.
But things have been looking up since yesterday.
Friends always and never fail to brighten up my days..and nights.
And through it all? I have learnt this:
Choose to face the sunlight instead of the grimy,
then the road ahead will be bright
and dark shadows will always be cast behind.
* *
Why did I dream of you last night?
Now morning is pushing back hair with grey light
Memories strike home, like slaps in the face;
Raised on elbow, I stare at the pale fog
beyond the window.
So many things I had thought forgotten
Return to my mind with stranger pain:
-Like letters that arrive addressed to someone
Who left the house so many years ago.
nimgnoy let the night fall at 7:52 PM
Tuesday, October 26, 2004
Now and forever
you are a part of me
And the memory cuts like a knife
Didnt we find the ecstacy
Didnt we share the daylight
When you walked into my life
Now and forever
I'll remember all
the promises still unbroken
And think about all the words between us
That never needed to be spoken
We had a moment
Just one moment
That will last beyond a dream,
Beyond a lifetime
We are the lucky ones
Some people never get to do
All we got to do
Now and forever
I will always think of you
Didnt we come together
Didnt we live together
Didnt we cry together
Didnt we play together
Didnt we love together
And together we lit up the world
I miss the tears
I miss the laughter
I miss the day we met
and all that followed after
Sometimes I wish I
could always be with you
The way we used to do
Now and forever
I will always think of you
* *
for you and you alone. you know.
nimgnoy let the night fall at 10:28 PM
It came totally unheard and all too sudden.
I was grabbed so tightly in his forceful arms i could hardly retaliate. In fact i knew right from the start i would lose, i had no choice but to bow out and conceit defeat. He didnt stop there, his grip and firm grasp got tighter as i struggled so helplessly. He just wouldn't let go.
My mind raced and attempted to outwit the antagonist. The tears would have give forth if it were brave enough to leave my being, the pain was sheer hell.
I tried to catch a glimpse of my assailant - I wanted to see what face controlled those impetuous fists, I wanted to see the adversary in the eye.
Yet i couldn't. Everything was a blur and obscure.
His presence was beyond a physical existence. Unfathomable to my eye.
I scuffled on and the more i tried to fight back, the more i was tormented. I was ensalved and eminently not his match.
I only knew this familiar stranger by his name -
Fear.
You've won.
But now i know your ways,
the tatics you employ, the flaws in your approach.
You'll never win again.
Aubade
I work all day, and get half-drunk at night.
Waking at four to soundless dark, I stare.
In time the curtain-edges will grow light.
Till then I see what's really always there:
Unresting death, a whole day nearer now,
Making all thought impossible but how
And where and when I shall myself die.
Arid interrogation: yet the dread
Of dying, and being dead,
Flashes afresh to hold and horrify
The mind blanks at the glare. Not in remorse -
The good not done, the love not given, time
Torn off or unused - nor wretchedly because
An only life can take so long to climb
Clear of its wrong beginnings, and may never;
But at the total emptiness for ever,
The sure extinction that we travel to
And shall be lost in always. Not to be here,
Not to be anywhere,
And soon; nothing more terrible, nothing more true.
This is a special way of being afraid
No trick dispels. Religion used to try,
That vast moth-eaten musical brocade
Created to pretend we never die,
And specious stuff that says No rational being
Can fear a thing it will not feel, not seeing
That this is what we fear - no sight, no sound,
No touch or taste or smell, nothing to think with,
Nothing to love or link with,
The anaesthetic from which none come round.
And so it stays just on the edge of vision,
A small unfocused blur, a standing chill
That slows each impulse down to indecision.
Most things may never happen: this one will,
And realisation of it rages out
In furnace-fear when we are caught without
People or drink. Courage is no good:
It means not scaring others. Being brave
Lets no one off the grave.
Death is no different whined at than withstood.
Slowly light strengthens, and the room takes shape.
It stands plain as a wardrobe, what we know,
Have always known, know that we can't escape,
Yet can't accept. One side will have to go.
Meanwhile telephones crouch, getting ready to ring
In locked-up offices, and all the uncaring
Intricate rented world begins to rouse.
The sky is white as clay, with no sun.
Work has to be done.
Postmen like doctors go from house to house.
Philip Larkin
nimgnoy let the night fall at 7:50 PM
As the week draws to a close, what a drizzly week it has been. With the xmas deco progessively dressing town up, this week has been totally transitory. Signals the coming a tropical winter. In fact, Mariah's xmas album is hushly playing into the backdrop of the night.
And the highlight of this week has gotta undoubtly be Mamma Mia!
Mamma Mia was beyond words, and like a good movie, the suspension of belief was well kept throughout the show and the bottomline is, i had the bestest of time.
And to savour this musical in the charming Esplanade Theatres by the Bay is a visual treat amplified by two folds. The esplanade is indeed a theatre of dreams. An icon in its own right. Being there that night, with its plush royal red velvety drapes and gold interior, twas simply breathtaking and i felt i was at Broadway or the West End.
And i gotta add, i might consider working as an usher at the esplanade after i ORD. Haha.
I guess i love musicals in general. I have made it a point to catch every international musical that drops by, to the best of my ability that is.
If life could be sung in songs, a musical is born. What a novel idea.
And no emotion or feeling can be better expressed than through the medium of music and song, which is what makes musicals so alluring.
And i gotta say this, the props for this musical is so simple, yet so sufficient in itself. See the two main walls in the pic above, those were the only main props. But creativity takes over, and by cleverly shifting these walls around, we've got a room, a dining area, the seaside, a chapel and much more outta that.
Talking countless friends who haved experienced Mamma Mia, I found myself very lucky to be in the crowd that was on the evening of the 20th. A yuppy crowd with tonnes of expats, the whole atmosphere and theatrical experience was heightened.
If there were two things I would take away from that night, it would be firstly, the finale. A good two-thirds of the theatre stood up and danced away into the final 3 songs. I remember turning my head back and seeing the Esplanade Theatre, up on our feet, dancing with such joy i rarely see. The smiles of their faces, the pure disregard for that negative self consciousness, the boldness of the heart, will remain etched deeply in my memory.
And now i can proudly say that I've boogied in the Esplanade Theatre!
That would have never been possible if the expats werent there, cos they lead the way. We all had a great time.
And secondly, it would be the last scene, as above. No words can exactly describe it or how i felt, but it was a fitting closing for the show, simple yet so much in meaning.
And that is why i say Mamma Mia was beyond words, and like a good movie, the suspension of belief was well kept throughout the show and the bottomline is, i had the bestest of time.
And for those of us who catched this dreamy production, this song holds poignant significance, representing hope and a better day to come.
I have a dream, a fantasy
To help me through reality
And my destination makes it worth the while
Pushing through the darkness still another mile
I believe in angels
Something good in everything I see
I believe in angels
When I know the time is right for me
I'll cross the stream - I have a dream
nimgnoy let the night fall at 8:53 PM
Two crappy flicks in a week. hows that?
I just got back home from town. The weather seems to be taking a turn for the cool these days, it was lighly drizzling and the midnight urban air felt refrigerated.
Manchurian Candidate was what joe junhan n i watched today. It had a promising start, though movies of such genres aint really my type. But the closing was bad, the plot got incoherent and the storyline fell apart. It really could have been better.
But then again, the company i was in today more than made up for that less than competent movie. I have always believed that it's not what I do in town that matters - I can be in town 5 out of the 7 days in a week, but it's the people I am busking in midst of who make each day a different and unique one.
It's at times like these when i love rainy nights. Let it fall and douse this dreary world with a new sense of hope, that it may start fresh anew the morning after from our temporal rest.
nimgnoy let the night fall at 1:02 AM
Saturday, October 23, 2004
It's almost 2:30am and the rain's still beating hard on my windows. Looks like the drizzled forged ahead. It has been awhile.
Blogging has been great so far. Two of my frens said i sounded too chim. One said i sounded bleak. Well, its just me i guess. What i really wanted to write about are my own reflections and my inner thoughts. It's never easy translating inner monologues into actual words, concisely. And that is exactly what im trying to nail here.
In the end, the only events in my life worth telling are those when the imperishable world irrupted into this transitory one. That is why I chiefly speak of inner experiences. They are the fiery magma out of which the solid stone of who i am is crystallized.
All other memories of travels, people and my surroundings have paled beside these interior happenings. Inner experiences set their seal on the outward events that come my way and assume importance for me in this life. They seek the outward manisfestation.
And so i write in this manner. I never felt the need to explain myself, but i felt it might be good if i just set the record straight for now.
I am not feeling bleak.
nimgnoy let the night fall at 2:28 AM
"The greatest sweetener of human life is Friendship. To raise this to the highest pitch of enjoyment, is a secret which but few discover. I keep my friends as misers do their treasure, because, of all the things granted us by wisdom, none is greater or better than friendship."
- Pietro Aretino
And so with jackie I had dinner with tonight.
Orchard Road's already decked out for the season to come. The customary red poinsettias hung precariously way up high as nifty bangladeshi hands worked to usher in christmas of '04.
The wet sidewalks glimmered under the street lamps, and as we walked along, Jackie and I were just talking about how much we love christmas and how excited we were in organising our 4Khristmas party comin up end dec. Indulging in our ego boosting chat, indubitably mindless yet so heartfelt. It would prolly be a logistical nightmare, but jackie n i love such stuff - the adrenaline from meeting deadlines and drawing up the guest list fuel our passion for event planning. Haha. By invitation only.
It started to drizzle and Orchard Road became a cool oasis of tired yet thankful folks, dusting off the perplex labour of work that has settled upon their shoulders over the week, grateful for the approaching weekend, as they make their way, hand in hand, into what seemed to be a limpid friday night.
We found our way into Wheelock Place. Once we started clicking away, we couldnt seem to stop. The conical glass roof dotted with a constellation of bright blulbs draped above us, as it served as a really cool backdrop for our photos. It was groovy.
Aside : I added another of these pics at the side menu.
Jackie is prolly one of the very few friends who loves Kodak moments as much as i do. We share that avocation and its fun exploring crazy poses with her.
I had a great time today, jackie. I knew you wanted to say something, something you wanted to delve into. Perhaps another day.
Yvonne, this is what you missed out on. The last dou sha xiao long bao in the basket only felt right in your mouth.
nimgnoy let the night fall at 1:45 AM
Tuesday, October 19, 2004
To you my always dependable buddy, a very blissful birthday.
And as you stand before the candles on your cake,
a silent wish for you i'll make.
One day, someday, we'll find that direction and purpose.
Meanwhile, u2 gal at tbp is not that bad either.
nimgnoy let the night fall at 8:28 PM
We are a psychic process which we do not control, or only partly direct.
Consequently, we cannot have any final judgement about ourselves or our lives. At bottom we never know how it has all come about. The story of a life begins somewhere, at some particular point we happen to remember; and even then it was already highly complex. We do not know how life is going to turn out. Therefore the story has no beginning, and the end can only be vaguely hinted at.
Life has always seemed to me like a plant that lives on its rhizome. Its true life is invisible, hidden in the rhizome. For the unbiologicalist, a rhizome is a horizontal, usually underground stem that often sends out roots and shoots from its nodes.
The part that appears above ground lasts only a single summer. Then it withers away - an ephemeral apparition. When we think of the unending growth and decay of life and civilizations, we cannot escape the impression of absolute nullity.
Yet i have never lost a sense of something that lives and endures underneath the eternal flux.
What we see is the blossom, which passes.
The rhizome remains.
**
I find a strange sense of comfort in these words.
2046 was disappointing. Art for art's sake?
nimgnoy let the night fall at 10:37 PM
I need some sleep,
I can't go on like this.
Tried counting sheeps,
But there's one i always miss.
Everyone says
Im getting down too low
Everyone says
You just gotta let it go
You just gotta let it go
I need some sleep
Time to put the old horse down
Im in too deep
And the wheels keep spinnin round
Everyone says
Im getting down too low
Everyone says
You just gotta let it go
You just gotta let it go
-"I need some sleep"
The Eels
Too many late nights
I'm off to bed now.
Gnite
nimgnoy let the night fall at 10:15 PM
Saturday, October 16, 2004
the picture says it all
nimgnoy let the night fall at 1:03 PM
a Happy Birthday sis.
Blessed and joyful.
nimgnoy let the night fall at 10:46 AM
Thursday, October 14, 2004
you'll be leaving all too soon.
in less than a day, all too soon.
and though having you on the other side of the earth doesnt seem all that bad, just the knowledge that you're not here at home seems a little doleful.
why havent we met up earlier?
i couldnt have thanked you more for that night.
you have a safe journey.
nimgnoy let the night fall at 9:02 PM
Wednesday, October 13, 2004
This life we exist in, albeit transient, and some even say transitory, holds much like the vast sea. Our existence like waves in the endless ocean, drifters in seclusion, where we meet and inexorably must part in the end.
And so with friends. You and me, flotsams in this world. Guided by forces beyond our comprehension. And its tough to say that we have drifted apart when no one's really to blame but the fraility of humanity.
When you got attached, remember how happy we were? I was elated for you, finally embarking on this journey on your own, no longer a child, ready for the world.
Never such innocence again.
But thats life aint it? We were made to move on, to cope, assimilate and adapt. Can I say i've moved on? To say that i wished time would make an exception and turned itself back for us would be too selfish. Yet, I do sincerely feel happy that you've found that person you've been waiting for.
And with that, I knew i had to take a few steps back, things are different now; i am no longer your default person to call when you have good news, i am no longer the one who shares your dreams and these i understand. Our memories are now neatly compacted in a glass bottle, cast out to sea and allowed to drift away, hoping to be picked up and discovered one day by a stranger, you, reading this entry.
Remember the night we stayed up the whole night doing physics, on the phone the whole time till 5am because mrs lee's lesson was at 8am the next day?
Remember the movie marathon at your place, where we watched 8 hours of movies non-stop?
Remember your pre-scuttle days when we hung around at the canteen, played supermarket sweep like we owned Cold Storage?
Our existence like waves in the endless ocean, drifters in seclusion, where we meet and inexorably must part in the end.
I'm not bitter. I just need to find another place in your life where i'll fit in snuggly. Prolly not the best view of you from where i'll be, but a relatively good one nonetheless.
And i have ceased to question because the questions only beget more questions and the few answers that i obtain are never what i would have liked them to be.
Friends do fade from our radar screens as we grow older in life.
And i thank you for keeping that little flicker marked "you" always somewhere on my screen, never faltering, telling me although we've drifted, you're never ever too far away.
nimgnoy let the night fall at 8:30 PM
Tuesday, October 12, 2004
Nicole Kidman looks absolutely gorgeous in this new ad for Chanel No 5. Elegant and flawless. She's one old(er) babe i dun mind going out with, anytime.
Word has gone around the Jan 2003 NS intake guys that martha stewart will be released from prison next march - the same time as our ORD. well, guess she's not the only one doing the great countdown.
Wait, is that Shankar guy out already too?
nimgnoy let the night fall at 7:27 PM
2046
There's something rather intriguing about this new film that has garnered my interest (hani: thankewsomuch) these past few days. Directed by Wong Kar Wai (and i dunno what other films he directed), there seems to be a sinister appeal that is so gripping. Been through the official website www.wkw2046.com and vaguely gathered what the show is about. The audio for that webbie is simply haunting.
Tony and Ziyi
"He was a writer, He thought he wrote about the future but it really was the past. In his novel, a mysterious train left for 2046 every once in a while. Everyone who went there had the same intention ... to recapture their lost memories. It was said that in 2046, nothing ever changed. Nobody knew for sure if it was true, because nobody who went there had ever come back - except for one. He was there. He chose to leave. He wanted to change."
Also, 2046 happens to be the hotel room no. where much of the protagonist's memories are held captive.
Zhang Ziyi
It has a rather gothic setting, dark and mysterious. Something transcendental. Rather abstract cos it is dealing with the past in the future. Yet another paradox in my post!
Sinister appeal i said, like The Hours, where you dun get a good vibe throughout the film, yet you watch on, cos your mind is engaged in deep thoughts. You flow with the film, and then, the reality of what's outside the theatre and all that's around you disintegrates into a sheer insignificance. It is now that reality becomes imagination; and the film, becomes living reality.
And that I find, makes any movie totally seductive.
Takuya Kimura and Faye
But then again, I'm not sure if the film will make me feel this way. I have no idea how it will be like. But I've not quite seen a chinese film made in this fashion, dealing with issues of such depth. So i guess it's worth a try. Even the promo pics which u see here are taken so stylistically. Chio!
Tony and Faye
And not to mention the stellar cast assembled for this production. Big names. Tony Leung, Faye Wong, Maggie Cheung, Zhang Ziyi, Gong Li, Takuya Kimura etc. Besides, Christopher Doyle is the cinematographer for this film. My god but does this man ever shoot nothing but gorgeous films? If the plot aint good, then this cast is good reason to catch the film.
Takuya Kimura
I am never a fan of anything chinese. Except food. I dun usually look forward to a chinese flick. I gotta go see and be convinced myself that the chinese movie industry has finally grown up.
On a totally different note, today was simply, uneventful. Uncluttered and i'm loving every minute of today.
Thanks to dearest angie for helping lazy me put up a tagboard.
Big hello to jackie. I have not seen you since forever.
nimgnoy let the night fall at 7:16 PM
Its yet another sunday night. Signals the coming of yet another dreary week.
But then again, its one more week towards ORD. Its gonna be 5 months left! Heard that joe?
Call me swakoo but i watched my very first R21 film today.
A milestone in my young adult life. A step into maturity. Okay, maybe a premature step onto maturity. And im always full of paradoxes.
Sex Is Zero. Junhan got so excited throughout the film he was slapping his thighs repeatedly and kept bouncing up and down on the seat. It was so bad that the whole seating row moved back and forth relentlessly. It was hilarious. And that was his first R21 film as well. He just made it more obvious to the crowd than i did.
Okay i shall reply to the comments here so it wouldnt be so troublesome for yall.
Jess called all the way from melb with an ulterior intent to waste my phone bill. And also to announce that she will be flying SQ back. And me? OS. Dunno what's OS right? Austrian Airlines. Now you've learnt something new.
Angela : I want a tag board! Just too lazy and also too busy to get one. Help me lah. Hint hint.
Hani : Branded tudong? You can get CK and Armani tudongs from pasar malams.
Joe : I'll get you a mini surfboard. Lol.
i've been blogging way too much this week. It's excessive.
I wish you bluebirds in the spring
To give your heart a song to sing
And then a kiss,
but more than this
I wish you love
And in July a lemonade
To cool you in some leafy glade
I wish you health
But more than wealth
I wish you love
My breaking heart and I agree
That you and I could never be
So with my best
My very best
I set you free
I wish you shelter from the storm
A cozy fire to keep you warm
But most of all
when snowflakes fall
I wish you love
and to you..I know you're reading this. i heard this song and i thought of you. it's really how i feel.
gnite
nimgnoy let the night fall at 10:03 PM
After weeks of planning, I finally got my itinerary for the melbourne trip out. And many thanks to jess for putting us up. There're still lots of minute stuff to sort and iron out but here's the rough idea.
20nov :: Off to Melbourne
Depart SIN 0700h (local time) ::: Arriving MEL 1700h (melb time)
Find our way to jess' place. Dinner n thats all for the day.
21nov :: Mornington and Bellarine Peninsula
Mornington is a peninsula filled with quaint coastal towns. We'll be following a local tour.
"Escape to the Mornington Peninsula. Travel to the lovely coastal village of Queenscliff and join a ferry for the trip across to Sorrento to discover its beautiful beaches and limestone buildings. Visit Sunny Ridge Strawberry Farm and pick your own strawberries to take home. Lose yourself in Ashcombe Maze, Australias largest traditional hedge maze, and enjoy a two course lunch. Take a tour through Nedlands Lavendar Farm, viewing spectacular garden displays and enjoying a cup of lavendar ice cream."
Sorry i just had to bold the ice-cream part though its not an attraction. haha angela's gonna scream.
22nov :: Grampians National Park
I for one, have not been to a national park in my life. We'll be going to the Jaws of Death rock formation and taking a walk to Mackenzie Falls to discover the spectacular series of waterfalls. Incredible views can be seen at Boroka Lookout and the Balconies and we'll view Victoria Valley from Rieds Lookout.
23nov :: Melbourne City
A day dedicated to the city and shopping. The pic above is Federation Square. Its weird architecture brought it fame, just think Esplanade.
Yup so its like a day out at mega Orchard Rd.
24nov :: The Great Ocean Road
We'll spend the whole day there.The great ocean road is one of best coastal drives around. The view is magnificent. That pic above is the famous 12 apostles, though my sis insists there are only 11. Afternoon wld be spent at the surf beach, Bells Beach. Then moving to Apollo Bay, doing the Otway Tree Top walk. We'll also try to see the legends of 'The Shipwreck Coast' at Port Campbell National Park, and tour the Loch Ard Gorge and London Bridge.
25nov :: Life's a beach (morning)
A day out at the beach, which is a walking distance from jess' place. Can you just see a golden tan awaiting me? Im so looking forward to this day.
St Kilda / Fitzoy (late afternoon)
St Kilda and Fitzroy is just a stone's throw from jess' place. We can jus slack there in the afternoon.
"Away from the foreshore, you will find much of St Kildas activity concentrated in Fitzroy and Acland streets. Fitzroy Street is renowned for its cool cafes, restaurants and bars, with tables spilling onto the footpath, and is one of Melbournes most attractive eating and drinking streets. Nearby Acland Street is a bustling, vibrant street with an eclectic mix of restaurants, wine bars and continental cake shops. During the day the streets are lined with people drinking lattes; at night theyre buzzing with clubbers and night owls."
Seems a cool place to chill out till late.
26nov :: Free Day
An advise given to me by my sis is to keep a day free. Cos "there definitely be something you see there that you wanna do, but you didnt include in your itinerary", which is what this day is for.
Or just an excuse for more shopping.
27nov :: Last Day
Day spent packing up, trying to squeeze all the unlimited good buys into the limited luggage space. Jess will be leaving melb that day too. So we can all head for the airport together.
Depart MEL 1855h (melb time) ::: Arriving SIN 2345h (local time)
So there, jess, please tell me if you think the plan is realistic..or do-able.
nimgnoy let the night fall at 11:07 AM
To hani, thanks for your comment but im alright really. You know how a retrospective mood can get me going. In fact I am feeling much better bout how im gonna conduct myself and my life.
And speaking of hani, check this out yall.
.jpg)
hani and me, Alliance Francaise de Singapour, 29th sept
hani and me,again , Raffles Hotel, 6th Oct
Taken a week apart, yet so hauntingly similar! I didn't notice till these 2 photos were side by side in my folder. Even the reflection of the flash on my specs is the same. Laughable.
Hani, we really should explore more poses. And please send me the rest of the photos.
A little incident.
And in one of the cafes at the grand old Raffles Hotel,
seated by the window, that large shard of glass,
a girl.
Empress Cafe, that is.
She was with someone else,
a boy,
they made an unlikely couple.
An ebullient chat, a debonair whisper, they look happy.
The girl, hand wielding a silver fork,
tried to eat a cookie,
from a plate,
with the fork!
Talk about weird eating habits.
nimgnoy let the night fall at 9:39 AM
Saturday, October 09, 2004
I really gotta start off this post by saying that im beginning to regret not watching alicia keys in concert. I originally wanted to, but when American Idol came up, I diverted all my financial sources towards the idols.
Recent events has sorta unravelled a perennial issue that has always bugged me.
Right into a year of NS, it dawned upon me that my life was rather meaningless, time not well spent, and very unfufilling. And it all started when i heard of some of my friends who were clearly focused on what they want. Ask them what they wanna pursue in their career, they can, without hesistation tell me exactly what their ambitions are.
Take jackie, i remembered her telling me that she has to constantly work hard cos in Arts and Soci, everyone is rather mediocre in relativity. So she had to distinguish herself from the crowd. She's studying hard to keep that notch above the rest.
And that was what struck me, the drive and fervour she has, that I have lost since way back in the jc days.
I have always been languid about everything. No steady focal point and no idea of how to get there. And that eventually and naturally carried along with me into NS. So one day, i sat down and asked myself: What are my dreams? What do i really want in life?
No answer came outta me.
And so i talked to hanisah about it. Every youth who wants to be successful these days seems to have to have an ambition. Aside: No grammatical error there. Motivated and onward moving. Yet, I clearly knew i was not moving on. I was stuck in the phase called NS and was quite happy in this hermit shell, right where i am.
So right about early this year, I told myself I gotta do something.
I tried to mould myself to be the person I envisaged to be so-called focused.
I've started to read again. As of today, I've completed up to 20 books which i am proud of, and of which has given me much insights of the world and has enriched me beyond words.
And with that, I started writing a journal. I had to improve my writing. And hanisah would attest that my writing style has changed, for the better i hope. Reflective writing really helps. It not only explores different styles of which a thought can be presented, it also forces me to know my inner self better. I have learnt that thoughts that go through our heads rarely comes out as concisely in words. Few have that talent to do so.
Hence, this blog was born.
Started attending musicals, plays, performances which I have loved all along. Doing things I didnt have time or have the financial capability to do while in school. Basically just not bumming around at home and being a myopic hermit.
And 10 months after, I feel as if I am going on the right track.
Till junhan came along.
Going out 2 weeks back and again last night, junhan and i, as usual talked.
It is very comforting talking to him, cos its so easy to. With the years that we have been friends, what we talked have evolved to issues much deeper and intangible. We started talking about family, contemplating issues ahead of us, in short, life in general.
We are rather similar i suppose. In thinking, in family, in what we feel laid ahead of us.
And so junhan told me he lacked a sense of focus. And he felt as if it is not headed for a right direction. I totally register.
But what stumped me was when i said, "I know im headed somewhere, but i dunno where it is, but im getting there." A frank submission. A paradox. What i was essentially saying is "I am nowhere yet."
Which forced me to sit down again. To re-evaluate.
And once again, i asked: What are my dreams? What do i really want in life? Am i doing things right?
I looked at some people whom i thought were headed in the right direction. It hit me. Some people, when asked what they want in life, answer: I wanna be a successful doctor/businessman/lead a yuppie's life/drive a merc..you get the drift.
They are focused and resolute.
I personally think that is not what i want. It lacks something else im searching for.
And when I've worked myself up to a successful dream career, what's then from there?
On hindsight, i believe we're made for so much more than a dream job. I do not want to be self made man. I figured what we hanker after will never be satisfied. The gap between our desires and what we have is and will always be present. More is never enough.
My perspective and priorities have to change.
People are more important than possessions. The primary ambition cant be on myself: my personal wealth, my status in the corporate ladder, me, me, me. A selfish accumulation of myself.
The lust of the eyes, flesh and the lust of this world have always eluded me.
So now i know, that besides pursuing my own interest, i gotta open myself up more, to my family, and to my friends. More so to my family.
The focus has to move from myself to others.
To give more to my friends. To love from the centre of who i am. Then life would be a wholesome one for me.
I am enjoying life now. It just has not be at the expense of others, like my family or my friends.
A little too noble it may seem.
I am sure the practicalities of this world would bring me back to the all-for-oneself attitude.
But until that day comes,
my family and friends
will never be
compromised.
nimgnoy let the night fall at 11:57 AM
What an idol-istic week.
As usual i didn't and couldn't watch Singapore Idol last night, had my alpha class. Last night was the last of my alpha sessions, and Christine was asking me what I was going to do on thursdays now that alpha has come to an end. I told her, "I'll prolly watch Singapore Idol."
Aside: those who studied with me in NJ, no, its not that christine.
She stepped back, half in amazement and replied, "I'm sure there's more to life than that!?!" She is clearly sick of the idol hype.
And this morning, i smsed into the Perfect 10 for a SI contest and won tickets to tonight's result show. I couldnt believe my luck. Just 2 weeks ago, I won tickets to Hossan's stand up comedy exactly the same way.
the stage as seen from the circle
So junhan and i made our way to tv land aka mediacorp.
Thanks winston, I feel really bad bout what happened.
It was an experience lah. But i gotta say that the theatre was smaller than i thought it to be. It looked so much bigger and nicer on tv when those charity shows were aired. Camera trick, i remember that was what my mom used to tell me when i was a little boy. Guess thats why people look so much better on tv.
So the above picture was the view of the stage from the circle.
the idols during the commercial break
And from the circle, we were ushered to the stall/foyer cos they had more seats to fill down there. It was only then when i realised photography was not allowed in the theatre. Hence, the pics you see here are exclusive and are fugitives on the run. Respect yall!
Both of us sat beside three small crescent girls. We clearly underestimated their worth cos boy, they could really screeeaaam! Just like how Cowell couldnt believe all of that voice coming out of Clay Aiken, these girls were screaming mad for sylvester. Sylvester waves! They scream. Sylvester winks an eye! They holler. Sylvester breathes! They shrill.
And some behind the scenes info. Betcha didnt know that in order to encourage the crowd to cheer and scream loud, there were actually crew members who would give out gifts like The OC notepads, t-shirts to whoever they feel is enthusiastic.
And hence i had a crazy girl behind me screaming "I waaaan teeee shi-eeerrrrrt!" X10000. So the next time you think the crowd's really enthusiatic, they may be screaming "i waaan notepad!" under that sea of vociferous crowd.
the 'safe' ones on the couch
And i saw Lum May Yee. She's white. Oil of Olay should get her to endorse their whitening products. Anyway, she looks good in that shoulder length crop.
Taking these pics in the theatre was hard cos there were mediacorp people at every corner. It was thrilling yet a lil scary. It brought back the days in NJ when i was trying to sleep during econs lecture, while trying to make sure gilbert lee or brain lagman wasn't somewhere near my seat.
I cant go on anymore. Im reaching the point where my thoughts are blurred and do not come out as clearly as I like them to be. I am tired. Late nights don't work for me.
Gnite
nimgnoy let the night fall at 11:11 PM
Thursday, October 07, 2004
Night
The sun descending in the West,
The evening star does shine;
The birds are silent in their nest,
And I must seek for mine.
The moon, like a flower
In heaven's high bower,
With silent delight,
Sits and smiles on the night.
Farewell, green fields and happy groves,
Where flocks have took delight,
Where lambs have nibbled, silent moves
The feet of angels bright;
Unseen, they pour blessing,
And joy without ceasing,
On each bud and blossom,
And each sleeping bosom.
They look in every thoughtless nest
Where birds are covered warm;
They visit caves of every beast,
To keep them all from harm:
If they see any weeping
That should have been sleeping,
They pour sleep on their head,
And sit down by their bed.
When wolves and tigers howl for prey,
They pitying stand and weep;
Seeking to drive their thirst away,
And keep them from the sheep.
But, if they rush dreadful,
The angels, most heedful,
Receive each mild spirit,
New worlds to inherit.
And there the lion's ruddy eyes
Shall flow with tears of gold:
And pitying the tender cries,
And walking round the fold:
Saying: 'Wrath by His meekness,
And, by His health, sickness,
Is driven away
From our immortal day.
'And now beside thee, bleating lamb,
I can lie down and sleep,
Or think on Him who bore thy name,
Graze after thee, and weep.
For, washed in life's river,
My bright mane for ever
Shall shine like the gold,
As I guard o'er the fold.'
William Blake
thats what you get when you're bored at work. appreciating poetry. i've already finished a round of scrabble.
joseph jus told me he's napping in camp. what the...?!?!
i'll blog tmr. very busy these days. consecutive late nights are beginning to take its toll on me.
nimgnoy let the night fall at 1:40 PM
Tuesday, October 05, 2004
A mary can idle, but not at the american idol show pls
The idols have landed, sung and thrilled.
the idols (from left) : george, diana, jasmine, jpl, latoya, jen hudsen & the almighty fantasia
It was the best picture i had of all of them. Though i sat rather close to the stage, i only wonder why the camera churned out pics that made them look like ants.
I write with a slightly irritable throat and a hoarse voice. To say the idols rocked the house is an understatement. I seriously never had more fun and boogie shakin' at a concert. The crowd went wild (well most at least, i'll come to that later), we danced the evening away and hollered. The energy was infectious.
Which brings me to the point of this entry. Yes, a mary can idle, in fact tom, dick or harry can idle too. but to sit and idle at the concert? there were people who simply sat through the whole concert with their butts stuck to the seats as if it's surgically attcached like it's part of their body. and party poopers they were.
See previous post on 'you know whats funny?'
why did they even come to the concert in the first place.
but as soon as i realized i was feeling rather splenetic so much that it distracted me from the show, i simply paused, surrendered myself to the music and got the groovin' goin.
too much negative energy aint good. and i aint gonna spend the bulk of this post complainin.
And so, i was glad i had shujun beside me. She was a good sport. We screamed, waved, clapped and basically became high school kids all over again. At times like this, I wished i never grew older. With age comes responsibilty and the taming of the child within. And that kid inside becomes meek, mellow and mild. The alliteration was purely conincidental. And if one day that kiddo should die, what's left is one very boring person who cant appreciate life and its simple wonders. Just like Thomas Gradgrind in Charles Dicken's Hard Times.
I intended to take sly's pic for my sis (she adores him and i dunno why) but chris saw my cam and nudged sly to give a nice smile, which he did. So i was oblidged to get chris within the frame. And thank goodness i did, for chris livened the pic with that smile (man that smile!)
and i expected maia to be more 'active' and bubbly. when i asked her for a pic, she froze and fused onto her seat. ah bengs watch on.
jessea was very approachable and friendly. she's pretty too i think. but her disappointment from her fall was evident and apparent. the only thing i could do for her is to make her feel popular, hence this picture.
and as the lyrics of a carpenter's song goes,
which i feel encapsulates the essence of the evening:
Children
It was more fun to be children.
We just took life as it happened
Run thru the days,
Don't look behind.
Over
Wink of an eye and it's over.
What a surprise to discover,
We were people ourselves.
What kind of people did we want to be?
No answer ever came to me.
"Never growing older, never growing wiser, children ever." - John Logan
nimgnoy let the night fall at 11:13 PM
tropical esplanade
I'm just waiting for the noise in the house to settle down, settle like dust till i'm imperturbable.
It's almost ten. Gonna try to complete this post within 15 minutes cos im so tired now. It has been a tiring day but a day well spent it was.
Okay, i gotta explain why i added this picture of the esplanade, which i took back in june. This pic simply accentuates the essence of today. A tropical bliss. Today gives me many reasons to be happy or simply contented with life.
To be awaken by the sun trying to penetrate those eyelids, and not to be awaken by the alarm clock is bliss.
To be able to shower in daylight and not worry about the time is bliss.
To wander as i please, time not holding me back or limiting my freedom, is bliss.
In another words, an off day from NS is bliss.
The highlight of my day would definitely be the swim at my aunt's condo.
I was contemplating between the public jurong east pool beside my place and my aunt's private pool. And boy was i glad i chose the latter.
I had the most fun in the pool, even though i was swimming alone.
Firstly, the setting. Twas a Bali-Java styled pool. Rustic and laidback. The skies were cloudless. The sun was a tropical hot. The swimming pool had no one but me. Bliss.
Aside: See how it links to the whole recurrent thematic element of this post?
And i had the privilege of doing whatever i wanted, without worrying bout public glare.
Besides from the obvious (hint: swimming), i had the liberty to try to part the swimming pool with my arms like what Moses did to the red sea, float in a backstroke position in the middle of the pool spinning round and round like a chicken carousel in the microwave. A very skinny chicken that is. Basically doing stuff that would render me insane at a public pool.
And through that stupidity, I got a tan! Bliss. Now how cool is that, tell me.
You know what's funny? Funny how people need to remove that public perception away from their mindsets before truly letting their guard down to be what they truly wanna be.
And what's funnier? The so called public perception almost doesnt exist at all. Nobody remembers things like that.
And the funniest part? I ramble and preach bout this yet i fall prey to this phenomenon
all
the
time.
my week started off well. i intend to keep it this way. bliss.
American idol summer concert tmr!
its 10.46pm now. so much for fifteen minutes.
nimgnoy let the night fall at 9:59 PM
.jpg)
