where thoughts materialise.

So we're into the sixth version of my blog after the last version hung around for a year or so.

Now, a bit of info on this image. This photo was taken one lovely spring afternoon, featuring the iconic Old Well from the UNC Chapel Hill campus. I would like to think of this image as a tribute to my time in UNC Chapel Hill, the awesome friends I made and the memories I now hold dear.

A milestone in my life indeed.

I've dropped the tagboard cos its useless and taking eons to load. But thanks to Angela who helped me set it up, I still do like and will miss the pink interface.

So yeah, it's the sixth one you fellas!

Yours.

27 April 2008

you know you miss my older entries

October 2004 November 2004 December 2004 January 2005 February 2005 March 2005 April 2005 May 2005 June 2005 July 2005 August 2005 September 2005 October 2005 November 2005 December 2005 January 2006 February 2006 March 2006 April 2006 May 2006 June 2006 July 2006 August 2006 September 2006 October 2006 November 2006 December 2006 January 2007 February 2007 March 2007 April 2007 May 2007 June 2007 July 2007 August 2007 September 2007 October 2007 November 2007 December 2007 January 2008 February 2008 March 2008 April 2008 May 2008 June 2008 July 2008 August 2008

Friday, November 19, 2004

I have been writing some odd things lately. And it seems i'm not the only one, because some of my friend's posts have been uncharacteristically deep or strange of late. Is it because one of us started "yawning" and it became contagious to the rest? Or could it be something in the ether that is causing this effect, or this defect to occur? Perhaps it is the sudden extreme change in weather which is the inspiration behind this. No, that's not it at all. Fall is the season of doubt, it seems. The summer party is over and we are left to deal with the shattered pieces of our lives that remain.

I've been doing a lot of thinking lately about what the future holds for me. Where I want to go from here, and when. This is tough work. Read a brilliant post recently in which someone talked about how life is about becoming, not being. If that's true then it takes a lot of the pressure off. My problem is that i'm goal-orientated, but just don't have any goals at the moment that I care to pursue.

My job is so unsatisfactory. No matter how late I work, or how hard I try, I am always left feeling inadequate. This is such a foreign feeling for me. It is so humbling, but in a depressing way. It has adverse consequences too, because it makes me doubt my ability to do things that I know I can do, and even do well. In short, it is a confidence deteriorator. Taking this daily beating has been one of the challenges I've faced in this life. Sometimes I feel like my main motiviation to hang in there is just to prove to myself that I can. But I am tired, and don't know how long I can last. I wanna ORD quick. One thing I'll say is that I am growing a much thicker skin as a result, which will come in handy in this crazy world.

I've just done a preliminary whirlwind 10 minute packing of my luggage.
Guess i'm about to ship a quarter of my wardrobe over to melbourne.
And i gotta run out of the house already. Now.
Later.

nimgnoy let the night fall at 5:55 PM

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