where thoughts materialise.

So we're into the sixth version of my blog after the last version hung around for a year or so.

Now, a bit of info on this image. This photo was taken one lovely spring afternoon, featuring the iconic Old Well from the UNC Chapel Hill campus. I would like to think of this image as a tribute to my time in UNC Chapel Hill, the awesome friends I made and the memories I now hold dear.

A milestone in my life indeed.

I've dropped the tagboard cos its useless and taking eons to load. But thanks to Angela who helped me set it up, I still do like and will miss the pink interface.

So yeah, it's the sixth one you fellas!

Yours.

27 April 2008

you know you miss my older entries

October 2004 November 2004 December 2004 January 2005 February 2005 March 2005 April 2005 May 2005 June 2005 July 2005 August 2005 September 2005 October 2005 November 2005 December 2005 January 2006 February 2006 March 2006 April 2006 May 2006 June 2006 July 2006 August 2006 September 2006 October 2006 November 2006 December 2006 January 2007 February 2007 March 2007 April 2007 May 2007 June 2007 July 2007 August 2007 September 2007 October 2007 November 2007 December 2007 January 2008 February 2008 March 2008 April 2008 May 2008 June 2008 July 2008 August 2008

Thursday, May 18, 2006

This week has proven to be trying. But not enough to break the hard shell I've built around me thus far.

Last night, dad and I sent Ye Ye to the hospital. He has been frail these years, despite his healthy lifestyle and you can't fight age I guess. He suffered from a mild heart failure last night. By the time we got Ye Ye checked into the hospital and got ourselves home, it was an unearthly hour of 4 am.

Dr Lee also told us that grandma's fight with cancer is coming to a close. With her situation only going downhill from here on, the road to the end has finally begun. While I am relieved to know that her suffering will not last long, but. at what price?

Hence, my SEA trip will be inevitable be affected. Which is certainly something I am very concerned about, since my bro and I had been planning it for ages.

The emotions tug me in all directions. But if these past one and a half years has taught me anything, it would be to cope with all that is happening around me. I have taken bigger blows than this, so this is classified as no sweat.

But, coping is not dealing with the issues at hand. Nothing much really get resolved, I just learn to take it in and keep things the way it is. Sometimes, while people commend that I am taking the situation well, maintaining cool in such times of adversity, I feel otherwise. I am a warrior, I fight to make the lives of the people I love around me better, but like every other superhero, I am cursed with the ability to take in pain effortlessly, only keeping the pain for myself so that others can be free of it. If anyone's to suffer, let it be me.

So I have led my life these past one and a half years like that - simply coping. And sometimes I wished I had the strength and rationality to deal with these issues, to know how and what to feel, instead on just being an expert in shelving them neatly within.

Well, nobody deserves the blame in this, fate has moved us apart. It is not an easy game to play, this life, when the rules remain a mystery.

All along the fault is up for grabs, why don't you have it?
Well it's for sale, go make your offer, I'll sell it for no less than what I bought it for.
You pay no more than absolutely zero.

nimgnoy let the night fall at 11:57 AM

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