where thoughts materialise.

So we're into the sixth version of my blog after the last version hung around for a year or so.

Now, a bit of info on this image. This photo was taken one lovely spring afternoon, featuring the iconic Old Well from the UNC Chapel Hill campus. I would like to think of this image as a tribute to my time in UNC Chapel Hill, the awesome friends I made and the memories I now hold dear.

A milestone in my life indeed.

I've dropped the tagboard cos its useless and taking eons to load. But thanks to Angela who helped me set it up, I still do like and will miss the pink interface.

So yeah, it's the sixth one you fellas!

Yours.

27 April 2008

you know you miss my older entries

October 2004 November 2004 December 2004 January 2005 February 2005 March 2005 April 2005 May 2005 June 2005 July 2005 August 2005 September 2005 October 2005 November 2005 December 2005 January 2006 February 2006 March 2006 April 2006 May 2006 June 2006 July 2006 August 2006 September 2006 October 2006 November 2006 December 2006 January 2007 February 2007 March 2007 April 2007 May 2007 June 2007 July 2007 August 2007 September 2007 October 2007 November 2007 December 2007 January 2008 February 2008 March 2008 April 2008 May 2008 June 2008 July 2008 August 2008

Monday, November 27, 2006

I guess I can never keep track of the endless reasons for missing my grandma, for there are too many. It seems that thinking of her has permeated to become part of my day that I cannot refuse, and I will never refuse cos that's when she is most kept alive in my memory.

I miss her kindess, such loving kindness that I don't find in anyone anymore. Somehow it hit me, all over again yesterday, that I've lost her for good. That her selfless love is something I will not experience ever again. The pain, my readers, is excruciating.

Grandma's place of rest is really nice now - manicured carpet grass, and, with not one but six bouquet of flowers every sunday when we visit her grave - a testament of our love for her because of her love for us. Besides that, her tribute table at home is largely done, cascading with photos of fond memories and items she kept dearly.

I am tempted to publish these photos but I guess I shall keep them private, something my family can hold close, as we had struggled and always will struggle, to cope with her passing.

Somehow, three months have almost passed but her last few hours continue to grip me. Not because I was losing her, but because it was a moment of transformation, and a catharsis of sorts for us. For the first time I saw Gong Gong hold onto her hand in her last moments (the first time in many decades I am sure), and I noticed how tighly he held her hand within, almost knowing it was the last goodbye, and he did all these holding back tears he rarely shed. For the first time, so many of my family member came to faith. And for the first time, Gong Gong bought roses for my grandma, every week since her passing, ten stalks no less.

I digress.

But yes, I miss her so. Still do. Always will.
her grandkids

nimgnoy let the night fall at 12:35 PM

0 comments

0 Comments: